Gundam Wing: Muddled Waters
by MadamHydra
Summary: A GW/Ranma 1/2 fusion. The Gundam pilots and various members of OZ have a most unfortunate encounter with a certain valley of cursed springs.
1. Part 0

Last revised: 09/06/00  
  
I've rewritten some portions of this prologue, with the main changes being in Quatre's cursed form -- instead of a huge lion, he's now a desert wildcat (about the size of a bobcat or lynx).    
  
Also, I refer to all characters by their original sex (not the sex of the cursed form).  I also occasionally add suffixes to let you know that the person is in cursed form.  If you guys find this confusing, let me know!  
  
I'd like to thank SuzakuNoHi, Reishin, and Karasu7729 for helping me to work out the ideas for this bit of insanity.  ^_^  I'd also like to thank Ryu-chan and her delightful online roleplaying for giving me the inspiration for dealing with Wufei....  evil grin  
  
Please fasten your seat belt and securely stow your sanity in the overhead compartments or under the seat in front of you.    
  
Warning - General craziness ahead....  
  
======================================================================  
   MUDDLED WATERS  
       A Gundam Wing semi-xover fanfic by Madamhydra  
======================================================================  
   Prologue  
======================================================================  
  
---------------  
Short Disclaimer: (Full Disclaimers at the end)  
   Gundam Wing and other series are copyright of their respective creators and all distributors of their work and used without permission.  
---------------  
  
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
       'Cause I'm just a girl  
       I'd rather not be  
       'Cause they won't let me drive  
       Late at night  
  
       I'm just a girl  
       Guess I'm some kind of freak  
       'Cause they all sit and stare  
       With their eyes  
  
       I'm just a girl  
       Take a good looks at me  
       Just your typical prototype  
       Oh...I've had it up to here!  
       Oh...am I making myself clear?  
  
               -- "Just a Girl" by No Doubt  
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
   In an high-pitched and absolutely adorable voice,  Wufei shrieked, "Now look what you did, Quatre!  She's out cold!!!"    
  
   He was stating the obvious.  Sally Po lay on the floor where she had just fainted.  
  
   The gold, blue-eyed wildcat stared at the shimmering, ruby- and gold-scaled miniature dragon -- just about the size of a mid-sized iguana -- that hopped about furiously on Sally's desk and waved its cute clawed arms around wildly as little wisps of flame escaped from its muzzle.    
  
   As the wildcat hunched its furry shoulders guiltily, a small brown piglet, one of its green eyes obscured with a long dangling tuft of hair, blinked its one visible eye and mutely shrugged.  
  
   The wildcat suddenly held up a sign that read, {It was an accident!}.  The sign flipped and the back read, {I didn't mean to knock over the water pitcher!}  
  
   Small elegant wings unfolded from the minidragon's back and Wufei took to the air.  As he flew in a dizzying pattern of twists and loops, he growled, "We were supposed to break the news to her slowly!"  
  
   The wildcat's new sign said in big, hastily scrawled letters, {At least you can TALK!!!}  
  
   "And where the hell's Duo!?" fumed Wufei, zooming around Sally's office like a giant bumblebee on a massive sugar high.  
  
   Starting to look a bit cross-eyed from trying to follow Wufei's wildly zipping flight, Quatre-neko put a sign reading, {He went to tell Heero about what happened.}  
  
   Wufei froze in mid-flap and plummeted.  Fortunately, he was over the cot so he landed on something soft.  The miniature dragon, the wildcat, and the small piglet stared at each other over Sally Po's unconscious body and sweatdropped....  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
   In another part of the city, on the campus of an exclusive boarding school, a soaking wet Duo Maxwell skidded down the hallway in a desperate search for a bathroom.  Just as he saw one, a sharp female voice said, "You're the new student, aren't you?"  
  
   Duo spun around and smiled weakly at the formidable looking school official standing behind him.    
  
   "Ummmm... yeah."  
  
   The coldly elegant woman consulted the folder in her hand, then gave Duo a highly critical stare.  In a stern voice, she snapped, "There's an obvious mistake in your file.  Undoubtedly a careless clerical error on someone's part."  
  
   "Well...."  
  
   "Never mind.  I'll deal with the problem personally."  
  
   If Duo wasn't having enough personal problems of his own, he would have felt sorry for the poor people in the school's registration office.    
  
   The woman continued, "I'll have you know that the dress code of the Rinkan school is very strict.  Decorum is of utmost importance.  You're out of uniform."  She scowled.  "EXTREMELY out of uniform."  
  
   Duo grinned nervously and mumbled, "Heh... heh... sorry about that, but it was raining...."  
  
   "Hmph.  That's no excuse.  Well, come on."  
  
   "Huh?"  
  
   "Don't just stand there like a clumsy dolt.  You need to get changed."  
  
   "But...."  
  
   "Come on!  Classes have already started and you're wasting time.  I'm sure we can find a spare uniform that fits."  
  
   "But...."  
  
   The woman grabbed Duo's elbow and firmly marched her captive down the hallway.  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
   Heero sat in the classroom and coldly ignored the giggling teenaged girls behind him.  Where the hell were the other pilots?  Over a week ago, he and the others had gone their separate ways to handle individual missions, but they were all supposed to rendezvous at this campus yesterday.  Now they were late.  
  
   Heero found the silence the most troubling.  Surely Trowa or Quatre would have contacted him and notified him of any delays.  Short of catastrophe, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei were always prompt.  So was Duo, despite his scattered-brained behavior.  The braided idiot might be late for classes, yes, but not for missions.    
  
   He stared out the window at the pouring rain and scowled as he did his best to convince himself that he wasn't worried about his fellow pilots, especially a certain long-haired fool.  Behind him, the classroom door opened and the room started buzzing with comments from the other boys.    
  
   "Wow, she's cute!"  
   "Man, I think I'm in love!"  
   "I get first dibs!"  
   "Like hell you do!"  
   "Look at that figure!  And that hair!  You could drown in that stuff!"  
  
   As he continued to look out the window, Heero thought uneasily to himself, (No, it can't be.  She couldn't have found me THIS quickly....)  
  
   The teacher coughed loudly and sternly said, "Quiet down and please welcome our new transfer student."  
  
   (What am I going to do about her....)    
  
   Heero's thoughts came to a screeching halt when he heard a familiar, cheerful voice.  Well, an almost familiar voice... it still had the unmistakable vibrant, rich, slightly husky tones... but it wasn't nearly as deep as it should be.  
  
   "Hi!  My name's Duo Maxwell.  Glad to meet you!"    
     
   Heero whipped his head around and nearly fell out of his seat when he got his first good look at Duo.  With his mouth agape, he stared blankly at the stunningly beautiful girl with the familiar butt-length chestnut braid and bright violet eyes.  She stood in front of the class, dressed in the standard Rinkan schoolgirl uniform which consisted of full length black tights, short dark green skirt, and a matching tailored green vest over a white long-sleeved shirt.    
  
   Duo's cheeks were decidedly flushed as he waved hello to the enthusiastic crowd of boys.  The Deathscythe pilot flicked a quick, nervous glance in Heero's direction, then blushed even more.  
  
   (He damn well BETTER be blushing!  What does that idiot think he's DOING!?!?) the cobalt-eyed teenager thought furiously to himself.    
  
   "Duo, please take a seat next to Mr. Yuy.   Class, turn to page 43...."  
  
   Heero couldn't trust himself *not* to grab Duo by the throat and start strangling the deranged idiot then and there, so he kept his gazed fixed on his textbook and refused to look in the other's direction.    
  
   As the teacher droned on, he managed to get hold of his temper and snuck a quick peek at Duo.  Heero had to admit that Duo's disguise was absolutely flawless.  Certainly, none of the other students remotely suspected that Duo wasn't a girl.  
  
   But wait until they were alone....  
  
   Heero was forced to sit, seethe, and brood through three agonizing hours of classes.  And at every opportunity, the other boys and even some of the girls in the class hovered and flirted with Duo.  Finally, at lunchtime, Heero stalked by Duo's desk, gave the Deathscythe pilot a lethal stare, and marched out of the classroom.  
  
   Duo twitched uneasily, then hastily said, "If you guys will excuse me...."  
  
   Amid loud mutters of disappointment that the new babe in the class, like many of the other girls, had fallen for the sullen Heero, Duo briskly left the classroom and discreetly followed Heero out of the school building.    
  
   There was still a slight drizzle in the air as Duo rounded a corner.  Suddenly, he felt a steely grip on his arm.  Without a word, Heero dragged off his fellow Gundam pilot to a secluded spot behind one of the school buildings.  As soon as the Wing pilot was sure that they were not observed, he spun Duo around -- nearly getting himself clobbered by Duo's braid -- and shoved his companion hard against the wall.  
  
   "Duo, what the hell are you doing dressing up as a girl!?"  
  
   "Uh... Heero... I can explain....."  
  
   "Explain!?  How can you possibly explain THIS!"  He jabbed his finger into one of the soft, perfectly proportioned mounds on Duo's chest.  
  
   "OUCH!  Shit, Heero, that hurt!" Duo yelped.  
  
   Heero shook his head sharply, like a bull pestered by a relentless fly.    
  
   "You can drop the act, Duo!  What's with this ridiculous getup!?" the Wing pilot growled furiously as he yanked open Duo's vest and shirt and grabbed at Duo's bra....  
  
   But his fingers closed on something that was definitely not padding, nor was it anything plastic.  His hand was clutching something soft and warm, as only real flesh could be.  
  
   "...."  
  
   Duo's face turned bright red and he looked away as Heero ever so slowly tugged the edge of the bra down.  It was as if the Wing pilot was afraid to visually confirm what his fingers had already told him.  
  
   In a strangled voice, Heero choked out, "Duo... how...?"  
  
   The Deathscythe pilot shrugged and chuckled weakly.    
  
   "Well, you see... the other guys and I sort of had this accident...."  
  
   "ACCIDENT!?!?!?"  
  
   ".... accident at these weird springs in China...."  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
   In the region of Earth that was Wufei Chang's ancestral homeland, the natives once spoke of a mysterious place in whispers and shuddered in pure dread at the mere mention of its name.  Despite numerous warnings, people kept getting lured to the forbidden spot and kept falling victim to its terrible power.  But at the end of the twentieth century, a cataclysmic event led most people to believe that the horrible place's power had been forever broken.  Real events soon became nothing more than mere folktales and legends.  
  
   But everyone had been wrong.  The power had not been destroyed.  Instead, it merely slumbered as it slowly regained its strength.  And finally, after several centuries, the valley's magic awoke with a vengeance and once again, hapless victims were once again lured to its seemingly tranquil waters, only to be confronted by a myriad of terrible dooms.    
  
   Such was the fate of the unfortunate souls who dared to set foot near the infamous valley of the cursed springs.  
  
   And Jusenkyo was not about to be satisfied with only four victims....  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
   In an expensive hotel in the same city as the Rinkan campus, a slight altercation was taking place.  
  
   "Get off of me!!!"    
  
   Picture frames rattled on the walls of the expensive hotel suite as a furiously blushing Dorothy Catalonia grabbed and flung Relena Peacecraft across the room.  As Relena slowly slid to the floor in a limp heap, Dorothy turned and froze as she caught sight of her own image in a mirror.  
  
   (Oh god, look at me!)  
  
   A pair of incredibly cute furry cat ears poked out of her long blond hair while a long feline tail protruded from under a very short, very tight miniskirt.  An equally skimpy halter top seemed barely adequate to cover her breasts which appeared to have nearly doubled in size.  
  
   "Hot water, hot water, got to get some hot water," Dorothy frantically muttered to herself.  
  
   The door behind her burst open and a member of the hotel staff exclaimed, "Miss Catalonia, I heard the noise.  Is something wrong!?"    
  
   She took a wary step back as the young man's expression of concern turned into a now familiar look of lecherous idiocy.  
  
   "Get a grip on yourself, you fool!" Dorothy yelled, but he only seemed interested in her now awe-inspiring bust line.  He lunged, only to have Dorothy's foot firmly planted in his face.  
  
   "Now what?" she muttered in exasperation as she stared down on the unconscious young man.  Her rhetorical question was almost instantly answered as someone grabbed her breasts from behind.  
  
   Grinding her teeth, Dorothy turned to look behind her, glared at the blond-haired teenaged boy blissfully rubbing his cheeks against her exquisitely curved butt, and growled in a dangerous voice.   
  
   "RE-LE-NA!!!"  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
   In the meantime....  
  
   "Sir, this is the designated location."  
  
   Treize Khushrenada peered around at the serenely glistening pools of water scattered all over the small valley, then turned to glance quizzically at Lady Une.  Standing behind the OZ general, a masked Zechs Merquise said in a suspicious voice, "It looks innocent enough.  There doesn't appear to be anything that would so attract the Gundam pilots' attention.  Are you sure, Lady Une?"  
  
   She frowned through her glasses and tapped the scanner in her hands thoughtfully.  "If this equipment is calibrated properly, then this is the spot.  But I seem to be getting some rather strange readings."  
  
   Treize uttered a thoughtful "Hmmm...."  
  
   When Une noticed the OZ general approaching a rumpled heap of cloth lying near the edge of one of the pools, she hastily stepped toward him shouting, "Sir, stay away!  It could be a booby...!"  Suddenly, her left boot slipped on a damp, mossy stone and she skidded at full speed into the nearest pool.    
  
   Splash One.    
  
   When she fell, Une's scanner went flying into the air.  It ricocheted off of Zechs' silver mask, who fell over backward into another innocent looking pool.   
  
   Splash Two.  
  
   The flying scanner then ended up neatly smacking the startled Treize right in the face.  Instantly knocked out cold, the young general toppled into a gently steaming spring.  
  
   Splash Three.  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
   The score so far....  
  
       Jusenkyo: 9     Humans: 0  
     
=====================================================================  
Author's Notes:  
  
   For anyone not familiar with Ranma 1/2, Jusenkyo is full of springs that curse people who fall in one of its springs.  A cursed person changes into different sex, person, animal, monster, or entity when hit with cold water.  The cursed individual reverts back to his/her normal form and/or personality when doused with hot water.  I'm borrowing the basic idea of Jusenkyo curses from Ranma 1/2, but I've changed a few things to suit my own crazy whims.  ^_^  
  
=====================================================================  
  
A quick guide to the curses:  
   Duo     - Spring of the Drowned Girl  
   Trowa   - Spring of the Drowned Piglet    
   Quatre  - Spring of the Drowned Desert Wildcat  
   Wufei   - Spring of the Drowned Male Fire Mini-Dragon  
   Dorothy - Spring of the Drowned Sex Kitten Neko-girl  
  
       and last, but not least....  
  
Relena  - Spring of the Nearly Drowned Indestructible Hentai Teenage Boy, also known as the Spring of the Nearly Drowned Ataru (of Urusei Yatsura fame)  
  
--------------------------------------------  
madamhydra@aol.com         /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/:E  
http://www.geocities.com/madamhydra/  
--------------------------------------------  
  
=====================================================================  
The Full Disclaimer  
   All rights and privileges to Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing are trademarks and property of Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties. All rights and privileges to Ranma 1/2 belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Viz Communications, Inc., and associated parties.  The characters of these works are used WITHOUT permission for the purpose of entertainment only.  This work of fiction is not meant for sale or profit.   
   Original portion of the fiction included here is considered to be the sole property and copyrighted to the author.  
=====================================================================  



	2. Part 1

Last revised: 08/20/00 

Here's the next part of my GW/Ranma semi-xover.  ^_^   

BTW, while the victims have a vague knowledge of their curses, they may not be aware of the various subtleties of their individual curses. 

Thanks to Jacque (firewolf@pacific.net.sg) for the suggestions about the goldfish bowl... chuckle 

Please fasten your seat belt and securely stow your sanity in the overhead compartments or under the seat in front of you.   

Warning - General craziness ahead.... 

======================================================================  
MUDDLED WATERS  
A Gundam Wing semi-xover fanfic by Madamhydra  
======================================================================  
Part 1  
====================================================================== 

---------------  
Short Disclaimer: (Full Disclaimers at the end)  
Gundam Wing and other series are copyright of their respective creators and all distributors of their work and used without permission.  
--------------- 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
'Cause I'm just a girl  
I'd rather not be  
'Cause they won't let me drive  
Late at night 

I'm just a girl  
Guess I'm some kind of freak  
'Cause they all sit and stare  
With their eyes 

I'm just a girl  
Take a good looks at me  
Just your typical prototype  
Oh...I've had it up to here!  
Oh...am I making myself clear? 

-- "Just a Girl" by No Doubt  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

There was a sharp rap on the bathroom door of the plush hotel suite.  When there was no response, the door opened.  A giant panda, a pair of gleaming glasses perched precariously on its muzzle, stood on its hind legs in the doorway and cautiously peered inside before walking into the bathroom.   Less than ten minutes ago, the oversized bathtub had been nearly full of steaming hot water, but now it was now full of floating ice-coated rose petals.  The panda hastily stomped over to the tub and stared down worriedly, then shook its massive furry head in relief as it saw a long, serpentine shape slowly swimming around the bottom of the tub.  It whuffed softly.   

Suddenly a gleaming crested head with fanciful eyebrows erupted from the ice-clogged surface of the bathwater.  The tub's occupant, an exquisite miniature oriental dragon with shimmering silver and sapphire scales, propped its clawed forearms on the tub rim and stared up at the panda.   

The panda held up a sign reading, {Treize-sama?} 

Tugging nervously on its elegant whiskers, it said, "Une, I'm feeling a bit... peculiar." 

{!!!} 

Treize hastily explained in a slightly husky voice, "I'm not ill!  It's just that...."  He wiggled his long serpentine body uneasily, sending the near-freezing water slopping to the floor.  "I just feel... I don't know... restless.  As if I needed to do something, but I'm not sure exactly what....  It's like an itch I can't quite scratch...."  He cocked his head slightly and said, "And what happened to you?" 

The panda adjusted its glasses and responded, {I was standing on the balcony.}  Une-panda flipped the sign.  {It started raining.  I got wet.} 

"Oh, then I'll vacate the tub." 

{Not necessary at all.}    
{I'll use the hot water from the sink.}  
{What happened to you?} 

Treize-ryu grinned sourly.  "Well, it seems that the cold water faucet got stuck wide open when the tub was filling and I didn't check the water temperature before I got in." 

{Oh.  That's weird.} 

"I've had the most absurdly bad luck with water ever since we all fell into those damn Chinese springs!" 

{I know,} Une-panda noted and rolled her eyes. 

"Well, I'm just glad that I can keep my cursed ice dragon form from chilling water instantly on contact.  Otherwise, I wouldn't ever be able to regain my human form!" 

Une-panda shuddered eloquently. 

{Well, at least you and Zechs can still talk....} 

"I suppose I should be grateful for small things.  And speaking of Zechs, what is he doing at the moment?" 

{Doing his best to empty the liquor cabinet.} 

Staggering into the bathroom, an obviously intoxicated Zechs Merquise muttered, "That shounds... like a terrific hic idea." 

"Ah, the foxy one speaks!" Treize-ryu quipped, raising one of his sweeping silvery eyebrows. 

"Don't call me that!" 

"Take it easy.  I'm just pulling your tails...." 

"Damn it!" Zechs swore as he stalked belligerently toward the tub. 

Treize-ryu grinned, exposing a mouthful of dainty, needle sharp fangs.  It only took a slight ripple of his powerful tail to send a wave of icy bathwater splashing over Zechs. 

"You were saying?" the silvery sapphire mini-dragon said with a smirk. 

The platinum gold-furred fox that was Zechs-kitsune glared at Treize, lashed its five tails in annoyance, and howled, "Trrrreize!" 

-------------------------------------------- 

Just about that moment, three of the hotel's four water heaters experienced a series of catastrophic leaks just as a hungry rat chewed its way through a critical wire in the fourth heater. 

By the time the outraged Zechs-kitsune had given up on chasing an extremely nimble Treize-ryu all over the hotel suite, there wasn't a drop of hot water in the entire hotel's plumbing system. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Back on the prestigious Rinkan Campus, Heero Yuy -- the person who jumped off multi-story buildings without a parachute and who set his own broken bones -- almost did the unthinkable. 

He nearly fainted. 

He came within a hairsbreadth of passing out as Duo started to babble out the tale of his and the other pilots' unfortunate visit to the valley of the cursed springs, otherwise known as Jusenkyo.  As the Wing pilot stood there in a state of near-paralysis, only a few scattered words registered in his dazed consciousness. 

".... curse... splash with cold water... Trowa... this cute little piglet... Quatre... golden wildcat... Wufei... firelizard... change back... hot water...." 

Duo's story finally ended with a weak chuckle.  "And you can see what happened to me...."  His voice trailed off as he looked worriedly at Heero who was doing a pretty good imitation of a marble statue.  Duo didn't need to be a mindreader to guess the thoughts racing through the cobalt-eyed boy's head. 

(Does not compute... floating point error... division by zero... system overload....) 

Duo suddenly became of aware of a strange, oddly pleasant sensation that nearly made her... his toes curl.  He glanced down and blushed furiously when he identified the source of that peculiar *nice* sensation.   

In his dazed state, Heero seemed totally unaware that he still had his hand on Duo's right breast and was gently kneading it. 

"Hey... Heero, do you mind?  Oi!  Earth to Heero!"  Failing to get an immediate response, Duo brushed Heero's hand away from his breast and struggled to close up her shirt.  Unfortunately, in his earlier fit of anger, Heero had torn off several of the buttons. 

"A... girl?" Heero finally managed to choke out. 

"Yeah, a girl... but it's not like it's permanent, ya know!" 

"A girl."  The Wing pilot's gaze drifted downward to the vicinity of Duo's groin, then he yanked up Duo's skirt, exposing a very mundane pair of white panties. 

The Deathscythe pilot took a hasty step backward.  Still clutching the edges of his shirt, Duo blurted out, "Jeez, Heero!  Just take my word for it!  And if you try grabbing my crotch, I'll bloody well clobber you!" 

A sharp female voice said, "And well you should!  MISTER YUY, JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?  UNHAND HER THIS INSTANT!" 

A startled Heero jumped, his hand instinctively reaching behind his back as he whirled around to face the same steely vice-principal, Ms. Jinchu, that Duo had encountered earlier. 

Duo hastily grabbed Heero's arm and giggled nervously. 

"It wasn't like that at all!  I... I ran into a door and tore my uniform.  Heero was just making sure I hadn't hurt myself elsewhere!" 

The vice-principal gave the two Gundam pilots a skeptical glare.  Duo snuck a quick peek at Heero and was amazed to see a faint, but distinct blush on the other boy's face. 

"The Rinkan Campus is an educational institution of the highest academic and moral standards.  Do you understand me?  Since both of you are new here, I will ignore this first transgression, but if I catch either of you in similarly compromising situations, I will take immediate and swift disciplinary action.  Is that clear?" 

Duo's braid bounced as he nodded hastily.  Heero merely glowered at the older woman until a sharp elbow jab from the Deathscythe pilot induced him to give the vice-principal a sullen nod. 

"Humph.  Due to the computer error regarding your sex, Miss Maxwell, you had been assigned to share a double with Mr. Yuy.  Obviously, that WILL NOT DO.  And with the renovations of the female dormitories, we are somewhat limited as to alternative housing.  Therefore, you've been reassigned to a large triple with two new female transfer students." 

Although Duo smiled enthusiastically at this news, inside he was muttering, (Shit!  Shit!  SHIT!) 

Before the vice-principal could continue, Duo quickly said, "About that computer error...." 

"Yes, Miss Maxwell?" 

"I think someone in the registration office got confused and got me mixed up with my twin brother." 

Ms. Jinchu's eyebrows rose.  "Your... twin brother...?" 

"Yeah."  When the older woman scowled at the unladylike language, Duo hastily corrected himself.  "I mean, yes.  My twin brother, Duo Maxwell." 

"Wait a moment, your twin brother has the exact same name as you!?" 

"Well, my real first name is Deux, but I usually go by the name 'Duo'.  I don't know, it just seems to roll off the tongue a bit easier."  Duo gave the vice-principal his most charmingly demure smile, which quickly faded to a worried expression.  "There was... an accident involving several members of my family very recently.  No one died, but still....  My brother stayed behind to help sort out the details.  He still plans to attend this school, but I'm not sure when he'll arrive."  Duo's shoulders shook slightly as he stared at the ground. 

With a sigh, the vice-principal's steely expression softened slightly.  She scolded, "You should have told us sooner!" 

Duo gave her his most innocent and confused violet-eyed look.  "I'm *so* sorry!  But things have been terribly hectic!" 

"Very well, come with me so we can straighten out this mess.  Also, you can't go around with your shirt gaping open like that, so we'll have to fix THAT, too."  Ms. Jinchu's expression hardened as she turned to Heero. 

"Mr. Yuy, I hope that I've made things quite clear.  I expect you to behave with appropriate decorum.  I will not permit you to take advantage of Miss Maxwell or any other girl on this campus, so I *will* be keeping a very close eye on you.  Understood?" 

Heero gave her a curt nod. 

"Then return to class.  Come along, Miss Maxwell." 

As he followed the vice-principal, Duo glanced back at Heero and gave him a quick wink and a little wave of his hand. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Heero watched Duo and the vice-principal reenter the building, then grouchily stalked off in the opposite direction.  He rounded a corner only to be confronted by a group of eight male upperclassmen, all impeccably attired in the school uniform.  The leader, a slim, rather beautiful young man with long black hair thoughtfully eyed the rose in his hand and drawled, "Tsk tsk.  How terribly gauche and déclassé.  I don't know what sort of manners your old school taught you, but that simply will not do here at Rinkan.  And to compound your faux-pas, you have chosen to inflict your unwelcome attentions on the gorgeous Miss Maxwell."   

His companions made general sounds of disapproval. 

Heero glared dangerously at the leader and growled, "Who the hell are you?" 

"My name is Norton Jamieson-Atherton and I happen to be the president of your class, Mr. Yuy.  As such, it is my responsibility to ensure the student body behaves appropriately.  Sometimes that requires taking somewhat forceful disciplinary measures." 

"Oh?" the Wing pilot retorted in singularly unimpressed tones. 

"I see you're going to be stubborn and difficult about this.  We know you were the person responsible for tearing Miss Maxwell's uniform and no doubt you were also responsible for the look of distress in her lovely eyes." 

"Lovely eyes," Heero said flatly. 

"And I cannot permit such behavior to go unpunished." 

"Whatever happens between Duo and myself is none of your damn business." 

"On the contrary, I consider to be very much my business.  Your rudeness in using her first name without permission is just an example of your egregious behavior."  Norton brushed his long hair back and said, "Therefore, I challenge you to a duel." 

"A WHAT!?" Heero growled. 

"A sword duel.  You do know how to fence, don't you?  Or did your previous school neglect to teach you THAT as well as forgetting to teach you manners?  Tomorrow in the fencing gym at 5 PM.  Don't make me come looking for you." 

"Hey, YOU!  Yuy!!!" a loud obnoxious voice bellowed. 

Both Norton and Heero turn to see a heavily muscled student and two equally muscular companions appear from behind the building and stomp toward them. 

"Are you talking to me?" Heero snapped. 

Norton murmured, "Ah, the testosterone brigade finally arrives.  Mr. Yuy, you have the dubious pleasure of meeting the captain of the rugby team, Mr. Tom Pecker."  The class president seemed to take an inordinate amount of pleasure in drawing out the bigger teenager's last name. 

"You friggin' well know that I'm talking to you, Yuy!  Me and my buds don't take it kindly when new guys like you waltz in here and try stealing all our girls!" 

"Your... girls?" Norton murmured in exquisitely skeptical tones, then sniffed in contempt. 

"Shut up, Mister Fancypants Class Prez, before I flatten you!" Pecker yelled.  The muscle-bound young man seemed incapable of anything quieter than a low roar. 

"You and which army?  Those brainless gorillas crouched behind you?" the elegant black-haired student retorted. 

"I don't need nobody's help to deal with the likes of you!" the bulky teenager shouted furiously. 

"Indeed."  Norton sighed eloquently.  "It's no wonder that the ladies here need protection from clods like you." 

"Don't give me that crap!  I know what the hell you're up to!  You're just trying to scare Yuy off so you can get into that Maxwell girl's panties!" 

With a distinct tic developing in his cheek, Heero growled in disgust and started turned away, but a heavy ham-like hand clamped down on his shoulder. 

"Hey!  I'm not through with you, Yuy!" 

As Heero started to turn on Pecker, one of Norton's companions made a particularly nasty taunt about penis sizes at the rugby captain's buddies, who retaliated with wildly swinging fists.   

As he was dragged into the developing brawl, there was only one thought in Heero's mind. 

(Duo, I'm going to KILL you for getting me into this mess!) 

-------------------------------------------- 

(Thank god I followed my gut instincts and set up a separate identity for my female form!) Duo thought as he followed the vice principal to his new room assignment. 

After spending a good half hour sorting out the school's registration records, the older woman's icy demeanor had softened considerably.  As they walked down the halls, she placed her hand on Duo's shoulder in a friendly sort of gesture. 

"Miss Maxwell, I've already had your things moved into your new room." 

Clutching the spare shirt he had been given to replace the one Heero had torn, Duo asked cheerfully, "Oh thanks!  So who are my two new roommates?" 

"They are well-bred young ladies from highly influential families." 

"Really?" the Deathscythe pilot chirped with innocent awe. 

As they approached the open door at the end of the hallway, Duo could hear some loudly complaining female voices demanding separate rooms.  The voices sounded almost familiar. 

"This is impossible.  I can't possibly room with HER!" said one of the unseen females. 

An older woman wearily replied, "I'm sorry, but with the renovations going on, there simply aren't any other rooms available right now.  It will only be for a month or two, until the construction is completed." 

Duo halted and looked uncertainly at the vice-principal, who patted him soothingly on the back and said, "Don't be afraid, Miss Maxwell.  You have an rare opportunity here.  Not everyone gets the chance to become roommates with people like Dorothy Catalonia and Relena Peacecraft." 

Only by an incredible act of willpower did Duo keep himself from cutting loose with a stream of paint-blistering obscenities as the vice-principal firmly nudged him through the open door to confront two very familiar young women. 

Dorothy looked more flustered than Duo could ever remember.  And was the Peacecraft actually sporting a black eye? 

-------------------------------------------- 

Unable to change out of her panda form due to the lack of hot water, Une resigned herself to sitting on the floor and drinking cold tea.  A sulky looking Zechs-kitsune was sitting on the bed, grooming his ruffled fur with elaborate care as he pointedly ignored everyone else in the room.  As for Treize, the miniature ice dragon was sitting on the balcony rail, staring out over the city. 

Suddenly, without warning, Treize suddenly took to the air and disappeared with a sinuous flick of his silvery blue tail. 

She tried to yell, but all that came out of her throat was a muffled "Whuff!" 

Zechs bounded over to her side and muttered, "Where the hell does he think he's going?" 

Une could only shrug helplessly. 

At that moment, there was a sharp knock on the suite's front door. 

"General Treize?  This is Lucrezia Noins!  I'm looking for Zechs.  Is he in there?" 

Zechs-kitsune and Une-panda stared at each other in consternation. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Back in Sally's clinic, Wufei and the others finally managed to revive the good doctor and explain their current situation.   

The mission had been innocent enough -- to check out some unusual OZ activity near a mountain range in what used to be China and to obtain samples of the air, soil, and water.  However, through several incredible accidents, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei had each fallen into one of the cursed springs in the valley known as Jusenkyo. 

In a daze, Sally muttered, "But it's not permanent?" 

Still in his draconic cursed form, Wufei said testily, "Cold water triggers the curse and makes us transform.  Hot water causes us to change back to normal." 

"Well, then.  I suppose the first order of business is to change all of you back into your human forms." 

Quatre-neko, who had been staring fixedly at the inhabitants of a goldfish bowl perched on a sidetable, failed to respond. 

"Quatre?" Sally loudly repeated, giving him an odd look.     

The wildcat jumped and with a slightly guilty expression on its face, he whipped out a sign reading, {Thank you!} 

The doctor shook her head.  "I'm not even going to ask how you can do this stuff with the signs.  But can Trowa do that?" 

The little brown piglet somberly shook its head. 

"Fascinating.  Who would believe that magical curses existed in this day and age."  She headed into her kitchen and soon returned with a steaming kettle. 

Wufei-draco suddenly zoomed in and snatched the hot water out of her hands. 

"What are you doing?" Sally demanded. 

"Onna, I refuse to change in front of you!" 

She scowled at him and snapped, "Listen!  It's not as if a nude male body is going to bother me!  I'm a doctor, remember?" 

In annoyance, the draconic Wufei snorted out a cloud of smoke which sent Sally coughing before he flew up the stairs in search of some privacy. 

Propping her hands on her hips, Sally muttered, "I swear that boy...."  She glanced at Quatre-neko and Trowa-chan.  "I guess I'll have to get some more hot water...." 

-------------------------------------------- 

Upstairs, Wufei had just set the kettle down on the table when he sensed someone staring at him.  Still in his miniature fire dragon form, he turned his head slowly and froze.  Perched on the edge of the open second-story window was another miniature dragon... a silver and blue serpentine dragon. 

But what unnerved Wufei the most was the decidedly lustful gleam in the other dragon's brilliant sapphire eyes.  Even as he stared, the silvery blue dragon delicately licked its lips with a long flicking tongue. 

He held a clawed forehand up and said nervously, "Now wait a moment here.  There's some mistake...." 

"No mistake," the other dragon purred as it eyed Wufei hungrily. 

"Yes there is!" the ruby-scaled mini-dragon babbled.  "I'm not who you think I am!"  Wufei grabbed the kettle and dumped half its contents over his head.  In an instant, he had returned to his human form.  Naturally, he was stark naked, too. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Watching the handsome ruby and gold male dragon he had tracked down turn into an unclothed Wufei Chang was almost the last straw for Treize-ryu's hormone-addled mind.  He slowly flew forward, his long, silvery blue body twisting and coiling provocatively in midair. 

"Now... now hold it, you... you FEMALE!  Have you no morals!  I'm not even the same species!" Wufei howled. 

"Oh, but we can take care of that VERY easily," Treize cooed.  In a flash, he was hovering over the kettle which was still half full of steaming hot water.  A sharp exhalation of whitish blue mist instantly chilled the water to near freezing.  Treize grabbed the kettle in his forepaws and turned toward the wide-eyed Wufei. 

"My darling little dragon... my beautiful one...."  Treize advanced with predatory intensity, kettle of icy water in claw. 

"What the... no, stay back!  I'm warning you... keep away from me!  Don't you dare...!" 

-------------------------------------------- 

A sudden series of loud crashes and thuds from upstairs instantly grabbed Sally's, Quatre-neko's, and Trowa-chan's attention. 

"What the hell is he DOING up there?" she wondered, then her jaw nearly hit the floor as a naked human Wufei leapt down the stairs, taking them three and four at a time.  He skidded to a stop at the foot of the steps, and glanced behind him with a terrified expression.  He abruptly jumped to the center of the room, just as a splash of water flew through the space where he had just been standing. 

Before Sally and the other pilots' stupefied gazes, a silvery blue, wingless dragon zoomed in the room and shrieked in obvious frustration.  Its elegantly crested head flicked from side to side, searching.  When it sighted Sally's goldfish bowl, it hissed in triumph and swooped straight for it. 

"KISAMA!!!" 

When she saw the panicked Chinese pilot headed for the obvious exit, Sally shouted, "No!  Don't go out there!  It's still...!" 

Wufei stepped outside and instantly turned back into his draconic cursed form. 

"....raining...," Sally finished weakly. 

Wufei-draco squawked indignantly, then turned tail and fled into the air at top speed.  The silvery blue dragon chuckled throatily and with a lazy flick of its long tail, set off in pursuit. 

Quatre-neko's sign said, {I *REALLY* do not want to know....} 

The little brown piglet with the one visible green eye nodded solemnly. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Unfortunately, Wufei had no way of knowing that the relentlessness of a female dragon in heat could make Heero Yuy seem like a scatter-brained airhead. 

=====================================================================  
Author's Notes: 

For anyone not familiar with Ranma 1/2, Jusenkyo is full of springs that curse people who fall in one of its springs.  A cursed person changes into different sex, person, animal, monster, or entity when hit with cold water.  The cursed individual reverts back to his/her normal form and/or personality when doused with hot water.  I'm borrowing the basic idea of Jusenkyo curses from Ranma 1/2, but I've changed a few things to suit my own crazy whims.  ^_^ 

===================================================================== 

A quick guide to the curses:  
Duo     - Spring of the Drowned Girl  
Trowa   - Spring of the Drowned Piglet    
Quatre  - Spring of the Drowned Desert Wildcat  
Wufei   - Spring of the Drowned Male Fire Mini-Dragon  
Treize  - Spring of the Drowned Female Ice Mini-Dragon  
Une     - Spring of the Drowned Panda  
Zechs   - Spring of the Drowned 5-Tailed Kitsune  
Dorothy - Spring of the Drowned Sex Kitten Neko-girl 

and last, but not least.... 

Relena  - Spring of the Nearly Drowned Indestructible Hentai Teenage Boy, also known as the Spring of the Nearly Drowned Ataru (of Urusei Yatsura fame) 

===================================================================== 

Quotes from upcoming parts.... 

-- A frantic Wufei-draco yelped, "Duo!  She's after me!!!  You've GOT to HIDE ME!!!" as he scrambled all over the braided teenager in a desperate attempt to crawl inside Duo's shirt. 

-- A school counselor said, "Miss Maxwell, do you know that your twin brother has a slight problem with crossdressing?" 

--------------------------------------------  
madamhydra@aol.com         /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/:E  
http://www.geocities.com/madamhydra/  
-------------------------------------------- 

=====================================================================  
The Full Disclaimer  
All rights and privileges to Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing are trademarks and property of Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties. All rights and privileges to Ranma 1/2 belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Viz Communications, Inc., and associated parties.  The characters of these works are used WITHOUT permission for the purpose of entertainment only.  This work of fiction is not meant for sale or profit.   
Original portion of the fiction included here is considered to be the sole property and copyrighted to the author.  
=====================================================================  



	3. Part 2

Last revised: 08/20/00 

Here's the next part of my GW/Ranma semi-xover.  ^_^   

Please securely stow your sanity in the overhead compartments or under the seat in front of you, and fasten your seat belt.   

Warning - General craziness ahead.... 

======================================================================  
MUDDLED WATERS  
A Gundam Wing/Ranma 1/2 fusion fanfic by Madamhydra  
======================================================================  
Part 2  
====================================================================== 

---------------  
Short Disclaimer: (Full Disclaimers at the end)  
Gundam Wing and other series are copyright of their respective creators and all distributors of their work and used without permission.  
--------------- 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
'Cause I'm just a girl  
I'd rather not be  
'Cause they won't let me drive  
Late at night 

I'm just a girl  
Guess I'm some kind of freak  
'Cause they all sit and stare  
With their eyes 

I'm just a girl  
Take a good looks at me  
Just your typical prototype  
Oh...I've had it up to here!  
Oh...am I making myself clear? 

-- "Just a Girl" by No Doubt  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Back in their new dorm suite, Dorothy and Relena stared blankly at Duo in his feminine attire for several long seconds... except in this case, he wasn't merely dressed as a girl, he physically *was* a girl. 

Sensing that Relena was about to open her mouth and blurt out something incriminating, Duo acted instantly and decisively.... 

He dropped the spare shirt he had been clutching and bounced across the room, shrieking in girlish delight, "Relena-SAMA!!!" then grabbed the dumbfounded Peacecraft in a bone-crunching hug. 

Before Relena could react to this outrage, Duo hissed in her ear, "Don't endanger Heero by blowing my cover!  Got it?" 

Just as he expected, the words -- and a ferocious amethyst stare -- stopped Relena's outburst in its tracks.  As she froze, paralyzed with indecision, Duo grabbed Dorothy's hand, deftly deflecting the other girl's reflexive attempt to knee him in the groin.  He had half-expected such a reaction on her part, which was the main reason he didn't attempt to group-hug both Relena AND Dorothy. 

He was brave, but he wasn't suicidal enough to try glomping that Catalonia girl. 

-------------------------------------------- 

As soon as she realized that Duo had no intention of groping her, Dorothy relaxed her guard and allowed the Gundam pilot to chatter brainlessly about how glad she was to see the two other girls.  Duo Maxwell was both quick-witted and daring -- but that was hardly unexpected for someone as capable as she knew those Gundam pilots to be.  Dorothy appreciated competence in all forms, so she was willing to allow Duo to proceed without interference.  She thought that she might enjoy seeing how the braided pilot would handle the current situation. 

-------------------------------------------- 

As Relena continued to gape like a fish out of water, Duo said in a bubbly voice, "I've always been a terrific admirer of your philosophy and to imagine having the opportunity to room with YOU, Relena-sama...!  And I'm also so happy to see you again, Dorothy!"  Duo hopped up and down, squealing in apparent delight. 

With a faintly mocking quirk of her exotic eyebrows, Dorothy murmured, "Indeed." 

Seeing that the three girls seemed to be getting along fine, the vice-principal deftly escorted the other woman out of the large triple suite.  As soon as they were alone, Duo released his grip on Relena's and Dorothy's hands, then flung himself on the sofa. 

"Great.  Just friggin' great!" he groaned, staring up at the elaborately plastered ceiling. 

Relena's brain finally started working and she blurted out, "Maxwell!  What on earth do you think you're doing, dressing as a girl!?  You... you PERVERT!!!" 

Dorothy gave Relena a dangerous glare and growled, "You should TALK!" 

The Peacecraft flinched guiltily and whined, "But that wasn't...." 

"Never mind.  It's obvious that Maxwell is undercover on some secret mission," interrupted Dorothy, "and that his cover identity is female, for some unknown reason." 

"Now let's get this straight," Duo said firmly.  "I'm NOT dressed as a girl because I enjoy it, okay?  I didn't have a choice in the matter!" 

Relena sniffed in annoyance, then her expression suddenly brightened as she said, "Heero's here, too?" 

Duo rolled his eyes and muttered, "Yeah, yeah."  (Man, he's going to clobber me for telling her, but it's not as if she wouldn't have eventually found out, anyway.) 

"I want to know why telling the school officials that you're REALLY a boy could endanger Heero?" Relena snapped with a predatory gleam in her pale blue eyes. 

Duo picked up on the sly, nasty undertone in Relena's voice and thought, (Shit!  If I don't come up with a good reason, she's liable to blow my cover just to make my life totally impossible!)   

Then a dark, unholy impulse took hold of Duo Maxwell's soul.... 

"Why, because I'm supposed to be his fiancee, of course," the braided pilot drawled. 

Dorothy blinked, then hastily stifled a malicious chuckle. 

"WHA... WHA... WHAT!?!?!?" the Peacecraft screamed.  "His WHAT!?!?!?" 

"Fiancee."  Duo cocked his head slightly.  "Maybe you should go see a doctor, Relena, because there seems to be something wrong with your hearing." 

"You... you... you CAN'T be!!!" 

Duo grinned, "Well, that vice-principal keeps harping about how this school has such strict moral standards, right?  Well, we needed a way to make sure that Heero and I could meet at odd hours without arousing suspicions.  Late night rendezvous between a girl and boy might be a no-no, but a cozy chat between an engaged couple... well, we all know that's a different matter."  He winked slyly. 

Dorothy's face was slowly turning red as she struggled to restrain the impulse to fall on the floor shrieking in laughter. 

"But why do you have to be a GIRL in the first place!?!?" Relena demanded at the top of her voice.  Fortunately, the suite was basically soundproof. 

"That's a secret!" Duo retorted gleefully. 

"But... OHHHH!!!"  And with that, Relena stormed into her room and slammed the door. 

Dorothy said in a rather choked voice, "Um... just how many people have you told about this 'engagement', Duo?" 

The Deathscythe pilot said primly, "Well, that's really none of your business, is it?" 

The Catalonia leaned over and murmured in Duo's ear, "Would I be correct in assuming that you haven't even told Heero...?" 

Duo gave Dorothy a sharp glance, then smirked slightly as if daring her to say anything. 

Dorothy finally managed to control her laughter, and said, "Well, regardless of whatever schemes you're running, you can't stay here." 

"Listen, I don't like the idea rooming with the two of you any better than you do, but if that iron-skirted vice-principal is right, I really don't have much of a choice, do I?" 

"It's totally out of the question!" Dorothy was starting to look rather stressed. 

"And why is that?" 

"Because you're really a guy!" she shouted. 

Duo rolled her... his eyes and muttered, "Dorothy, don't tell me that you're scared that I'm going to pounce on you, rip your clothes off, and have my evil way with you!  Sheesh!  I'd expect something that stupid from Relena!  Grant me some measure of self-control and discipline, okay!?  We're three... oops... we're two intelligent people here.  Surely with a little care, we can figure out some workable arrangement!" 

As Dorothy struggled to find a new argument that didn't involve mentioning her newfound Jusenkyo curse, Duo wandered over to the big picture window.  Glancing outside through the continuing drizzle, he saw Heero stalking across the quad, looking considerably more disheveled than usual. 

"Gotta run, Doro-chan!  Talk to you later!" 

Dorothy collapsed wearily on the couch as Duo zipped out of the room. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Meanwhile, down in a long forgotten sub-basement of the Rinkan Campus' Science Building, something evil stirred and throbbed as the elegant and stern Ms. Jinchu approached it. 

After leaving the three new transfer students to settle into their new quaters, the vice-principal now stood before the dark, pulsing mas and said triumphantly, "Hail, O mighty Zorpmanthakhan!  I've found the perfect victim for you -- a young, beautiful teenage female with long silky brown hair and violet eyes.  She is a girl on the brink of womanhood, just becoming aware of her own sensuality, full of energy and ripe for the plucking." 

Long tentacles having a decidedly phallic appearance uncoiled from the shadows and started to thrash in eager anticipation. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Back to their normal human forms, Quatre and Trowa sat around Sally's table, sipping hot tea. 

The doctor said, "So let me get this straight.  You guys went to this valley full of cursed springs.  Each of you fell into a spring.  Now each of you transform into a different creature when splashed with cold water." 

Quatre sighed.  "That's basically it," as Trowa gave a morose nod. 

"It must have been a terrible shock to both of you," Sally said sympathetically. 

"Oh yes, but it was much worse for Trowa!  I turn into a cat, but at least I'm big enough to defend myself and still capable of communicating with people.  Did you know that poor little T-chan was nearly cooked, not once but twice?  Apparently, roast piglet is a local delicacy in that area." 

Sally looked horrified.  "You don't MEAN...." 

"Trussed up and hung over a fire in some rural village.  What peculiar sort of place, run under a matriarchal system of elders, I think.  Fortunately, Duo managed to save Trowa from the roasting spit.  If he hadn't jumped in and knocked the cook unconscious, I don't know what would have happened!" the Arab pilot said earnestly. 

Both Sally and Quatre started in surprise as Trowa muttered in uncharacteristically sour tones, "I KNOW what would have happened...." 

"I meant to ask you about Duo and Heero.  Are they cursed, too?" the doctor asked. 

"Heero wasn't there, lucky for him.  But Duo was.  And yes, he got cursed." 

"So...?" Sally said, leaning forward. 

Trowa hunched his shoulders as Quatre said, "He fell into the Spring of the Drowned Girl." 

Sally stared at the two Gundam pilots.  "You mean... he turns into a girl?" 

The Heavyarms pilot said quietly, "Yes." 

"Except for their sexes, Duo's normal male body and his cursed female body are practically twins," Quatre added. 

The doctor sat back in her chair and said thoughtfully.  "That... could be interesting.  Duo's remarkably good looking as a boy.  I wonder...." 

"As a girl, he looks...," the Sandrock pilot glanced at Trowa and blushed slightly. 

"As a female, Duo is absolutely stunning," the brown-haired pilot noted dispassionately. 

"Oh my...," Sally muttered weakly. 

-------------------------------------------- 

A light drizzle filled the air as Duo ran out of the dorm and glanced around, looking for Heero. 

"Crap!  Where the hell did he go!?" 

At that instant, a ruby-and-gold streak plummeted out of the sky and came to a screeching halt on Duo's exquisitely feminine bosom. 

"What the...!?" 

A frantic Wufei-draco grabbed hold of the braided pilot's torn shirt and yelped, "She's after me!  She's after me!!!  You've GOT TO HIDE ME!!!" as he scrambled all over Duo in a desperate attempt to crawl inside his shirt. 

"OWWW!!!" Duo yelped as needle sharp claws scratched the sensitive skin of his breasts. 

"HIDE ME!!!  HIDE ME!!!" 

"Hide you!?  From what!?  Who's this 'SHE' you keep raving about?" demanded Duo, batting angrily at the squirming mini-dragon. 

A silver and sapphire form zoomed out of the clouds and headed straight for Duo and the panic-stricken Wufei.  Treize-ryu crowed in triumph and pounced on the fire dragon's exposed tail. 

"YIPE!!!!" Wufei shrieked as Treize attempted to haul him away from Duo.  However, Wufei was not about to surrender his virtue without a struggle.  He dug his claws in and clung doggedly to the braided pilot's vest. 

"KISAMA!!!  GO AWAY, YOU NYMPHOMANIAC!!!" Wufei shrieked, thrashing his tail about. 

"Give it up, baby," Treize-ryu purred throatily.  "I get what I want.  And right now, I want YOU!" he murmured, as he tried to pull Wufei off Duo. 

"I'M NOT INTERESTED IN BEING YOUR DAMN SEX TOY!!!"  Wufei screamed as he scampered over Duo's shoulder. 

"Oh, I'm sure I can change your mind, my darling little draconian studmuffin."   

Not the least bit put off by Wufei's reluctance, the miniature ice dragon playfully followed the fire dragon over Duo's shoulder and chased him down the Deathscythe pilot's back.   

Duo naturally objected. 

"CRAP!  Wu-man!  Get the fuck off me!  I'm not your friggin' climbing post!" 

"SEX-CRAZED FEMALE!!!" 

"What did you call me!?" the braided pilot stridently objected. 

While at the same time, Treize cooed, "Only for you, Wu-chan." 

"Quit trying to hide under my skirt!"  Duo swatted futilely at the rapidly scuttling Wufei. 

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME '-CHAN', YOU LECHEROUS TROLLOP!!!"  Infuriated, Wufei cut loose with a fiery blast which Treize lazily countered with a freezing gust of his own. 

"SHIT!  Watch the hair!  Watch the HAIR!" yelped Duo, simultaneously getting mildly charred and chilled. 

The next few minutes dissolved into a wild, chaotic blur as Wufei scampered all over Duo, ducking in and out of the Deathscythe pilot's clothing and hair in a desperate attempt to elude the relentless female ice dragon.  But nothing deterred the silvery blue dragon's pursuit, not even the occasional blast of fire breath.  As for Duo, he had his hands full trying to keep from being shredded, burnt, and/or frozen.   

Finally, Wufei twisted free and bolted skyward for the roof of a nearby building.  With a delicate flick of his tail, Treize immediately followed, leaving a dazed, battered, and extremely disheveled Duo swaying on his feet before he slowly crumpled to his knees.  Sometime during the draconic wrestling match, the Deathscythe pilot's braid had become totally undone and now his silky chestnut hair cascading freely across his nearly bare shoulders and back. 

"...."  Duo sat there numbly on the damp stones, too dazed to move. 

There was the sound of nearby footsteps, which halted abruptly, then rapidly approached. 

"Ms. Maxwell!  Are you all right?" exclaimed the esteemed class president Mr. Norton, who was remarkably unrumpled by the three-way brawl between his followers, Pecker's jocks, and Heero.  Grabbing Duo's limp hand, he said, "What happened to you?  Who dared to lay their filthy hands on you?" 

"Heero...?" the chestnut-haired pilot whimpered pathetically as he continued to stare rather blankly at nothing in particular. 

"Did that barbarian Yuy do this to you?  This outrage is absolutely unforgivable!  Look at you!"  Norton definitely took the opportunity to take a good long look at the entrancing view exposed by Duo's damp and dragon-shredded clothes, especially at his perfectly proportioned breasts.  Norton smiled benignly even as he slid his free hand up Duo's arm and around the violet-eyed boy/girl's shoulders.  He also took the advantage of the moment to surreptitiously dig his fingers through the soft, loosely tangled mass of Duo's hair.  The sensation was even more arousing than he had imagined. 

Feeling as if he had been hit by a F-5 tornado, Duo was in no condition to notice or react to Norton's stealthy advances. 

"Are you... hurt anywhere else, Ms. Maxwell?  Or may I be so presumptuous to call you Duo?  What lovely name Duo is...," the class president said suavely as he nonchalantly released his grip on the long-haired pilot's hand and placed it on Duo's thigh.  "Fortunately, I've had excellent first aid training, so please allow me to check the extent of your injuries...."  And with that remark and a gleam in his eyes, Norton began to slide his hand up Duo's leg. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Although he had managed to slip away from the brawl nearly unscathed, Heero was seriously annoyed.  The fight between the class president's and the rugby captain's cliques had been a total farce -- a cross between a really bad martial arts movie and professional wrestling.  The sheer incompetence of it all irritated him to no end. 

(What a total waste of time.  Morons!) 

The Wing pilot walked around the corner just in time to catch Norton slipping his hand under Duo's skirt smack in the middle of the dormitory quad. 

A surge of possessive fury bubbled up inside Heero.  How dare that jerk grope Duo like that!  But what probably infuriated the cobalt-eyed teenager the most was the fact that he could see Norton sinking his fingers into Duo's unbraided hair.  That was something that Heero had the occasional dream - okay, frequent fantasies -- of doing for himself.   

Being a person of action rather than words, Heero simply stalked up to the two teenagers kneeling on the damp stones and slammed his fist into Norton's face without the slightest warning.  The unfortunate class president ended up a good twenty feet away, resting upside down against a tree with his head in the dirt and his butt up in the air. 

"Hmph."   

Squatting down beside the motionless Duo, Heero frowned slightly as he noted the glazed look in the usually bright and lively indigo eyes.  It was uncharacteristic of Duo to be so totally out of it.  Concerned in spite of himself, Heero grabbed Duo's head in both hands and quickly ran his fingers through the long, slightly damp chestnut hair and over Duo's skull, checking for any injuries or bumps that might explain his obviously dazed condition.   

"Did anyone get the number of that truck?" the Deathscythe pilot mumbled incoherently. 

"Duo.  Duo!  Are you all right?" he demanded sharply.  But even though he had finished examining Duo's skull, Heero couldn't quite bring himself to let go of Duo's hair... um, head.  Despite the torn, slightly charred clothes, the smudges of dirt, and the loose chestnut strands flying all over the place, she... he looked absolutely gorgeous. 

And now that he was so close to Duo, Heero caught a faint and unusual odor that seemed to cling to the long-haired pilot.  He leaned closer, sniffing in an attempt to identify the unusual scent. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Unable to leave the building because of the continuing drizzle, Relena had fled her room and ended up in one of the dorm's communal sitting rooms.  Now she was plastered against the windows as she watched the scene taking place below in the quad along with nearly twenty other inhabitants of the girls' dormitory. 

"Oooh... is he... is he... kissing her?  In public?  In front of everyone!?" a short, black-haired girl said breathlessly as she observed Heero leaning ever closer to Duo's face.   

"I can't be sure from this angle, but it sure looks like it!" someone near the window said. 

"Wouldn't it be dreamy to have someone like that Heero Yuy fight over you?" another girl gushed. 

A redhead saw Heero cock his head slightly and muttered, "Oh yeah....  I wish I was in that Duo's shoes...." 

And at the opposite end of the quad in the boys' dorm, many of the guys were wishing they were in Heero's shoes at that moment. 

Back in the girls' dorm, Relena's anguished wail could be heard throughout the entire building. 

"Oh Heero!!  How could you pick DUO MAXWELL, of all people, to be your fiancee!?!?" 

-------------------------------------------- 

Down in the dorm quad, totally unaware of the bombshell that Relena had just dropped, Duo finally snapped out of his near-catatonic daze, only to find Heero leaning so close that their noses were nearly touching. 

"Ummm... whatcha doin'?" he asked tentatively, blinking his violet-blue eyes in surprise. 

"Duo, are you wearing... perfume?" Heero demanded curtly, hiding his flash of relief that the Deathscythe pilot was reacting normally again. 

-------------------------------------------- 

And now for the word of the day.... 

"pheromones" - (noun) any chemical substance released by an animal that serves to influence the physiology or behavior of other members of the same species. 

-------------------------------------------- 

"KISAMA!!!  YOU TEASE!  GET BACK HERE!!!" Wufei-draco howled in acute frustration. 

The silvery blue dragon writhed sinuously in midair and said in a coquettish voice, "If you want me, darling, you've got to catch me...."  She batted her extravagant eyebrows and made a 'come-hither' motion with the tip of her tail.... 

And what a pretty tail it was.... 

Wufei wasn't sure how the tables got turned, but he vaguely remembered getting cornered in the rafters of a warehouse or something like that.  That little vixen had pounced on him, wrapped herself around his struggling body, then proceed to engulf him with her scent as she seductively rubbed her long, serpentine body all over him and under his nose -- especially her hind end -- while gently nipping the underside of his long throat.   

And that thing she did with her tongue...! 

And at that point, Wufei had had two stunning revelations.  First, that female dragon was quite the most sexually desirable thing he had ever encountered.  Second, he had to have her right *NOW*. 

And just as he was feeling... receptive to her advances, the demented female released him and flew off, daring him to catch her, the little harlot.  When he got his claws on her, he'd bloody well show her who was the master of this little game! 

-------------------------------------------- 

"Say what?" Duo said in a baffled voice. 

"Perfume.  I noticed this...," Heero sniffed again, "this odd scent all over you." 

"No way!"  Duo paused, then said curiously, "What does it smell like?  Is it bad?"  He inhaled deeply, but couldn't pick up anything. 

"No, not bad at all.  It's... subtle.  Just a bit musky."  And although he would never say so, the scent clinging to Duo was oddly enticing as it blended perfectly with the familiar pleasant smells of the long-haired pilot's soap and shampoo. 

Suddenly realizing just how close their mouths were -- and how badly he wanted to kiss Duo -- Heero abruptly stood up and hauled a still wobbly Duo to his feet. 

"Baka.  Never mind that.  What the hell happened to you?  You look like you've been in a cat fight," the Wing pilot said tersely. 

"Make that a dragon fight." 

"What?" 

Duo chuckled weakly, still clutching Heero's arm for support, and said, "I think Wufei's got big time girl trouble... make that girl-dragon trouble." 

"Explain that remark," Heero snapped as he continued to glower at his companion.   

"Fine, fine.  But I really need a hot bath, my hair's a mess, and this uniform's had it!"   

As they headed for Duo's dorm room, the long-hair pilot casually slung his arm over Heero's shoulder and started his story. 

"Well, you see.  I was looking for you when Wufei, in his little dragon form, popped out of nowhere screaming for help.  It seems that a female mini-dragon took a REAL liking to him and you know how Wufei is about girls!" 

-------------------------------------------- 

Across the city, Une-panda and Zechs-kitsune stared at each other as Noin knocked rather impatiently on the door. 

{Well?  Say something!} Une's sign read in big, jagged letters. 

"Why me?" Zechs hissed back. 

{Because I can't TALK, you furry jerk!} retorted Une. 

"General Treize?  Lady Une?" Noin said loudly. 

"Maybe if we don't say anything, she'll go away." 

{How likely is THAT!} 

The kitsune's five tails wilted.  "Not bloody likely.  Noin can be relentless, in her own way.  But what the hell do we tell her?" 

{Think of something!}  
{You know what will happen...}  
{...if she finds out about the curse!}  
{She'll probably head straight for Jusenkyo!}    

Zechs-kitsune buried his head under his paws. 

"Hello?  Is everything okay?" Noin's voice began to sound distinctly worried. 

The kitsune coughed and said hastily, "Noin, I'm rather busy at the moment.  Give me a few minutes, all right?" 

"Sir?  Is that you?  You sound... rather peculiar.  Did you catch a cold while you were in China?"  Noin tentatively rattled the doorknob. 

"Um... something like that.  Could you get us some hot water?" 

After a brief silence, Noin replied, "Certainly.  But that could take some time.  The kitchen will have to boil it...." 

"That's no problem, but I really do need it." 

"Well, all right, sir."   

As Noin set out on her quest for hot water, Une and Zechs racked their brains for a solution. 

{She's not going to give up until she actually sees you.} 

"But I don't want her to find me like THIS!" Zechs hissed as he flailed his fox tails around, knocking several cushions to the floor.  "Damn it!" 

{Wait!  Aren't there fairytales about...}  
{...multi-tailed foxes being shapeshifters?}  
{Give it a try!}  
{What harm can it do?} 

"What if I turn into something worse, like a toad or something!?" 

{Coward!} was Une's stern reply. 

Zechs scowled at the panda, then shrugged.  He closed his eyes and concentrated on the only thing he could think of... returning to his normal human form. 

Suddenly, he nearly fell off the couch as his body seemed to ripple and stretch.  Opening his eyes, Zechs found himself staring at hands, not paws.  A quick glance down his body told him that he was no longer a fox. 

"Une, it worked!" 

{....} 

Zechs blinked and said, "What's wrong?" 

{Take a look in the mirror....} 

Dashing into the bathroom, Zechs unleashed a loud curse as he stared into the large mirror.  Oh, he was human... except for a pair of elegant platinum-furred fox ears on his head. 

"Oh great!" he muttered, tugging tentatively at the exquisitely sensitive ears. 

Une-panda popped up behind him and shook her large head. 

{And take a look behind you.} 

Turning his head, Zechs was upset, but not too terribly shocked to see a set of large, fluffy fox tails gently swishing on his rear end. 

"Now what!?" 

Une handed him a large towel and bathrobe. 

{Cover them up!} 

Zechs-youko grinned suddenly, exposing teeth that were just a bit too sharp and pointed to be human. 

When they heard Noin knocking, Une-panda hid in one of the bedrooms as Zechs opened the door. 

"Sir!?" she said in a faint squeak, clutching the kettle of hot water as her eyes widened at the sight of her superior officer, who was dressed in nothing more than a big, fuzzy bathrobe and a towel wrapped around his hair. 

=====================================================================  
Author's Notes: 

For anyone not familiar with Ranma 1/2, Jusenkyo is full of springs that curse people who fall in one of its springs.  A cursed person changes into different sex, person, animal, monster, or entity when hit with cold water.  The cursed individual reverts back to his/her normal form and/or personality when doused with hot water.  I'm borrowing the basic idea of Jusenkyo curses from Ranma 1/2, but I've changed a few things to suit my own crazy whims.  ^_^ 

===================================================================== 

A quick guide to the curses:  
Duo     - Spring of the Drowned Girl  
Trowa   - Spring of the Drowned Piglet    
Quatre  - Spring of the Drowned Desert Wildcat  
Wufei   - Spring of the Drowned Male Fire Mini-Dragon  
Treize  - Spring of the Drowned Female Ice Mini-Dragon  
Une     - Spring of the Drowned Panda  
Zechs   - Spring of the Drowned 5-Tailed Kitsune  
Dorothy - Spring of the Drowned Sex Kitten Neko-girl 

and last, but not least.... 

Relena  - Spring of the Nearly Drowned Indestructible Hentai Teenage Boy, also known as the Spring of the Nearly Drowned Ataru (of Urusei Yatsura fame) 

===================================================================== 

Assorted quotes/passages from upcoming parts.... 

-- A frantic Dorothy-neko kicked the door to the bathroom open and ran in, only to find Duo sitting upright in the tub, staring at her incredible physique with a particularly glassy-eyed expression. 

-- News reporter:  In the last two days, there have been wild rumors about mysterious blue and red lights hovering and chasing each other around in the sky.  In the same area, some of the locals have been talking in hushed whispers about the sounds of grunts, shrieks, and screams echoing in the forest.... 

-- Unidentified female of Chinese origin:  Duo, I kill!  
-- Heero Yuy:  Duo, omae o korosu....  
-- Duo Maxwell:  Eep!  Can't you guys take a joke!?      

--------------------------------------------  
Keeper and Mistress of Duo's Dark Side  
Co-Keeper of Duo's Scythe & Bat Wings  
Hopeful Co-Keeper of the Little Grim Reaper  
Duo no Seishi ~~~ Saitoh no Koibito  
--------------------------------------------  
madamhydra@aol.com         /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/:E  
http://www.geocities.com/madamhydra/  
-------------------------------------------- 

=====================================================================  
The Full Disclaimer  
All rights and privileges to Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing are trademarks and property of Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties. All rights and privileges to Ranma 1/2 belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Viz Communications, Inc., and associated parties.  The characters of these works are used WITHOUT permission for the purpose of entertainment only.  This work of fiction is not meant for sale or profit.   
Original portion of the fiction included here is considered to be the sole property and copyrighted to the author.  
=====================================================================  



	4. Part 3

Last revised: 08/20/00 

A repost of the previous part of my GW/Ranma 1/2 fusion.... 

---------------- 

Disclaimer: (Full Disclaimers at the end) Gundam Wing is copyright of its respective creators and all distributors of their work and used without permission. 

WARNINGS:  yaoi hints, sexual innuendo of various sorts, comedic OCC-ness, a little Relena-bashing... literally!  ^_-   

Pairings: 1+2/2+1 (naturally!) 

Archive:  http://www.geocities.com/madamhydra/GW.html 

Notes:  General craziness ahead, so please securely stow your sanity in the overhead compartments or under the seat in front of you, and fasten your seat belt.   

======================================================================  
MUDDLED WATERS  
A Gundam Wing/Ranma 1/2 fusion fanfic by Madamhydra  
======================================================================  
Part 3  
====================================================================== 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
'Cause I'm just a girl  
I'd rather not be  
'Cause they won't let me drive  
Late at night 

I'm just a girl  
Guess I'm some kind of freak  
'Cause they all sit and stare  
With their eyes 

I'm just a girl  
Take a good looks at me  
Just your typical prototype  
Oh...I've had it up to here!  
Oh...am I making myself clear? 

-- "Just a Girl" by No Doubt  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Mr. Yuy!  Just where do you think you're going?" a strident female voice shouted. 

Standing just inside the entrance of the girls' dormitory with Duo, Heero turned to glare dangerously at the frumpy stout woman who had just come running down the hallway huffing and puffing in outrage. 

"You know that male students are not allowed in the girls' dorm!  And how on earth did she get into this condition!?" the woman snapped, giving Heero an accusing glare after taking in Duo's injuries and his shredded school uniform. 

The Wing pilot glanced back at the disheveled Duo, who for once had his arm slung over Heero's shoulder more for support rather than a friendly gesture.  To Duo's surprise, there was actually a faint look of concern in the other boy's eyes.  Even more surprising was the fact that Heero now had his arm firmly -- and rather possessively -- around Duo's waist. These discoveries left the braided pilot momentarily flustered, so it took a few seconds before he managed to gather his wits together. 

With an innocent look, Duo said to the middle-aged matron, "Sorry, ma'am!  I totally forgot about the rules.  Heero was simply being kind enough to help me inside out of the rain.  And this mess," Duo tugged on the few remaining bits of fabric clinging to her shoulders, "wasn't his fault at all!  These two animals came out of nowhere and started fighting!  The next thing I knew, I somehow ended up in the middle!"  He gave the woman a traumatized look and sniffled piteously as he huddled a little closer to Heero. 

The Wing pilot sourly noted that regardless of being male or female, Duo had lost none of his notorious charm and persuasiveness.  He could almost see the older woman melting like butter under a heat lamp. 

"Well... in that case, that's very good of you, Mr. Yuy.  Quite proper, helping a lady in distress.  But really, the rules are the rules.  I'll take her from here."  The matron gently, but firmly pried Duo away from Heero and led the long-haired pilot back toward the suite he was sharing with Dorothy and Relena. 

Duo glanced back at the scowling Heero.  With an impish gleam in his violet eyes, he said bravely, "Don't worry, Heero!  I'll be fine.  Talk to you later...."  He managed to choke back the urge to add the word 'darling' to the end of his little speech, otherwise Heero probably would have throttled him on the spot. 

The Wing pilot rolled his eyes at Duo's playacting and stalked off toward the male dormitories. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Treize-ryu paused in midair and sniffed daintily.  He sighed as he caught the rich scent of roses drifting through the air.  And not just any common type of roses.... 

Off in the distance, he could see the rapidly approaching ruby-and-gold shape of Wufei-draco. 

"Perfect... absolutely perfect...," the OZ general-turned-dragon cooed happily to himself before diving toward the source of the roses. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Duo managed to shake off his escort at the suite door.  He grabbed a few items out of his luggage, then headed straight for the bathroom.   

"Oh man, what a day!" he muttered, as he dumped his shredded shirt, skirt, and tights on the tiled bathroom floor.  To his glee, the tub was HUGE -- capable of accommodating two people in comfort... or three if they were really friendly -- and came complete with a full array of whirlpool massage jets. 

"Hell, this school really must be desperate for dorm rooms.  This suite had to be the guest quarters before they crammed Relena and Dorothy in here." 

After setting the water temperature -- HOT -- and programming the tub to fill, Duo spent the next few minutes exploring.  Aside from the extravagant tub, the lavish bathroom was equipped with a separate shower stall, double vanities, mirrors everywhere, and even one of those funky bidet thingies beside the toilet.  The closets were packed with an wide assortment of shampoos, soaps, body washes, fluffy towels and even bathrobes.  The bathroom even contained a complete multimedia entertainment center perfectly placed so one watch movies from the tub. 

"God, I think I'm in heaven!" Duo said with a manic grin.  He then flung out his arms and gloated, "And you're all MINE! 

"If old Relena and Dorothy need to use the bathroom in the next three hours, that's their friggin' bad luck!  Let 'em take a hike down the hallway!" Duo cackled evilly as he locked the door. 

-------------------------------------------- 

In the upper level sitting room in the girls' dormitory, there were a mixture of reactions to Relena's outburst.  A first group of girls were clustered around the distraught Relena, offering her tons of sympathy and making nasty, catty remarks about Ms. Duo Maxwell.  A second group of girls was also making jealous remarks about Duo, but mainly because 'she' had made off with that hunk, Heero Yuy.   

On the other hand, a third group of girls were rather pleased.  Although it seemed that Heero was unavailable, they now had less competition for the other boys' attention.  Considering Heero's fierce and rather possessive reaction to Norton's groping of Duo, maybe some of the other boys would now pay more attention to *them*.  At that moment, several girls ran out into the rain to take care of the class president who was still sprawled upside down where Heero's punch had landed him. 

And of course, there were the people who were not in the least bit deterred by the existence of an engagement between Heero and Duo -- after all, engagements were made to be broken. 

All these events amused Dorothy immensely and she wondered how Heero would react to this little complication.  In fact, he should be finding out any moment now.  Smiling faintly, she rose to her feet only to be confronted by a smoldering Relena. 

"I don't care.  I won't have it!  It's... it's disgraceful!  They must have forced him into this charade!  Those dirty old men!"  Her eyes had a fanatical glint as she growled, "You know how dedicated Heero is.  That's it.  That must be the reason why Heero allows Duo Maxwell to hang all over him and... and cuddle up to him!  It's a matter of duty, nothing more.  Well, if Heero needs a fiancee, he can have me!"   

Amid cries of "Go get her!" and "You teach her who's boss, Relena-sama!", the Peacecraft turned on her heel and marched purposefully off toward their suite. 

Dorothy trailed after her, concealing a grin of faintly malicious anticipation. 

-------------------------------------------- 

As Heero entered the ground floor sitting room in the male dormitory, all conversation ceased.  The Wing pilot glanced around warily.  He had spent a majority of his short life as a target of one sort or another, so the sensation of having a big bullseye tacked on his back was unpleasantly familiar. 

A short, shifty-eyed student sidled up to Heero.  He wasn't quite bold enough to nudge the sullen teenager, but he winked and said slyly, "Yuy, you lucky dog!" 

Heero gave the obnoxious student a scathing stare which sent the teenager scuttling for cover. 

One of Norton's associates drawled, "Indeed.  It seems that congratulations are in order, but don't be too sure of yourself, Yuy."  The impeccably dressed speaker was tall, with long blond hair.  He was also very handsome and knew it. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" Heero retorted irritably. 

"I'm talking about Ms. Maxwell, of course.  She might be your fiancee -- for now -- but I wouldn't take her for granted.  Not at all.  She could always change her mind, you know, and choose someone else... someone worthier." 

There were a chorus of "Yeah!" and "That's right" from the assembled boys, who were starting to look more like a lynch mob than a casual grouping of students. 

"Duo... my... fiancee...?" Heero said very slowly, between gritted teeth, as if he wanted to make absolutely certain of a particular fact. 

The blond-haired upperclassman smirked slightly and said, "Exactly... unless you're willing to see sense and break your engagement right here and now." 

"En-gage-ment... with Duo...."   

Wiser members of the crowd began to retreat as Heero's eyes narrowed dangerously. 

-------------------------------------------- 

"Owwwww, hot... mmmmm... aaaaaahhhhhhhh......" Duo sighed as he slid into the steaming water, blissfully rubbing his hand over his now flat and distinctly male chest.  He still couldn't get over the fact that he was actually cursed... and from a simple tumble into a hot spring, of all things! 

As he slowly washed and tried to untangle his long hair, Duo thought, (Great, how am I going to explain this to Professor G?)  He shuddered slightly at the prospect.   

(A girl... how the hell did I get stuck turning into a girl!  Although, considering what happened to the other guys, I probably shouldn't complain.  At least I'm still human!  Poor Trowa, turned into a piglet who can't even talk or communicate... not that he ever said all that much when he's human, anyway!  And Wufei....  Oh hell, I nearly forgot!) 

Duo grabbed for his portable phone and quickly punched in Sally Po's number. 

"Hello?" the doctor replied. 

"Sally!  What's up with Wufei!?" 

"Duo?  You saw him!?" 

"Yeah... you could put it like that.  And a lot closer than I wanted to, frankly." 

"What do you mean by that?" 

"Umm... I'll explain later.  But tell me what happened on your end." 

Sally thought for a moment, then said, "After they broke the news about their curses, Wufei went upstairs to change back into human form...." 

Duo snickered, "I bet he didn't want to end up naked in front of you, right?" 

The doctor said with a slight chuckle, "Basically, yes.  Anyway, the next thing I know, there's a ruckus, then Wufei comes dashing down the stairs stark naked with this little blue and silver dragon after him!  It's weird, but I could swear that dragon was actually trying to splash Wufei with water....  He panicked and ran out the door -- still naked -- into the rain.  Once in dragon form, he took off with the other dragon in hot pursuit.  Quatre, Trowa, and I haven't got a clue what frightened Wufei so much or why the blue dragon was chasing him...." 

Duo started to giggle uncontrollably over the phone. 

"Do you know what's really going on!?  Tell me!" 

As the braided pilot continued to snicker wildly, Sally thrust the phone at Quatre and snapped, "See if YOU can talk some sense into him and find out what's going on!" 

"Duo?" Quatre said tentatively.  "What happened to Wufei!?  Is he all right?  Did he get into a fight with that other dragon?" 

"Fight snicker you could put it guffaw like that!" Duo managed to choke out. 

"Duo!" the Arab pilot said in a rare note of exasperation.   

"Okay, okay... less than an hour ago, Wu-man dropped out of the sky, grabbed my breasts, then tried to climb down my shirt and into my bra...." 

"WHAT!?  Wufei!?" 

"Yup!" Duo said cheerfully.  "And all the while, he was screaming something about 'she' being after him....."   

Quatre pulled the phone from his ear and stared at it as the braided pilot succumbed to another fit of giggles. 

"....'she'....?" 

"Yeah... you see... that blue dragon?  It's a female... and I think she's in HEAT!" 

Back in Sally's office, Trowa and Sally stared worriedly as Quatre froze with a stupefied expression on his face. 

"Quatre?" the Heavyarms pilot said, shaking the blonde's shoulder. 

"The blue dragon... Duo says it's a female... in heat... and she's after Wufei...," Quatre stammered to his audience. 

Trowa's mouth dropped open in shock as Sally snatched the phone out of Quatre's limp grasp. 

"DUO!!!  Are you saying what I think you're saying!?" 

"Yup!"  The Deathscythe pilot sniggered again, stretching lazily in his hot bath. 

"How could you possibly KNOW all this!?" 

"Listen, Sally.  That little blue lady dragon called Wufei 'my darling little draconian studmuffin', so what do you THINK she wants him for!?" 

"Oh my god... Poor Wufei...." 

Duo yelled in outrage into the phone, "Poor Wufei!?  What about poor ME!?  How would you like having the two of them scrambling all over you with their pointy little claws and spines?  I look like I've been through a paper shredder and do you have any idea how much time it took me to detangle my hair after they got through playing hide-and-seek in it?  Not to mention nearly getting incinerated by Wufei's bad breath or turned into an icicle by the female... did I happen to mention that she appears to be an ice dragon?  By the time they were through, I was standing nearly naked in the middle of the dormitory quad for everyone to see -- as a female, to boot!"   

Quatre finally recovered from his shock and grabbed the phone back. 

"Duo, what were you doing wearing a bra!?  I thought you were registering as a guy!" 

"That's was the plan, but then it started raining.  I got caught by the vice-principal before I could find some hot water.  She recognized me from my records.  I managed to patch up the mess by giving her some story about computer errors and twin brothers, but at the moment, I'm basically stuck being a girl." 

"Um... does Heero know about... about Jusenkyo?" 

Duo sank lower in the water and mumbled, "Yeah... well, he found out before I could actually tell him... you could say that he sort of put his hand smack on top of the evidence." 

"What do you mean?" Quatre said in a bewildered voice. 

"He ripped my shirt open and grabbed my breast... which turned out to be an unexpectedly large handful since it was a GIRL's breast..." 

"He... he didn't!" 

"Yup," Duo muttered, but he found himself grinning at the memory of Heero's reaction to THAT discovery. 

At the clinic, Sally and Trowa were eavesdropping with a sort of horrified fascination as Quatre repeated, "Let me get this straight... The rain changed you into a girl... Heero ripped your clothes off and grabbed your breast...?" 

"You see, this spooky vice-principal lady caught me dressed in pants, so she made me change into a girl's uniform before dragging me off to class.  Heero saw me and well, you can guess what HE thought...." 

"Ouch...," the Sandrock pilot murmured sympathetically. 

"He was pissed off, no doubt about it." 

"Did he... I mean, did he... hurt you?" 

"Huh?  What are you...?  Oh that... nah.  It wasn't too bad.  Hell, I'm not even sore.  He got caught by the vice-principal before he could do anything worse, although he was seriously eyeing my crotch....," Duo said in a distracted tone as he struggled with a particularly stubborn tangle. 

Quatre nearly dropped the phone again, but before he could say anything else, Duo said cheerfully, "Anyway, would you believe that I'm now rooming with Dorothy Catalonia and Relena?  Well, I just called to let you guys know about Wufei.  I've got a bad feeling that he's going to be REALLY busy for the next day or two.  That she-dragon seemed pretty determined to have her wicked way with him." 

"Duo, that's not funny!" 

"Aw, c'mon!  What's the worse that could happen?  He's a big boy.  Besides, maybe it'll make him loosen up a bit.  Talk to you later, guys." 

He hung up on a still sputtering Quatre and stretched out in the tub, purring happily. 

"Man, I could really get to like this.... mmmmmmmmmm." 

The conversation with Quatre made Duo think about the interesting waves of sensation that coursed through his body when Heero squeezed his breast. 

(No, that didn't hurt at all... actually, he didn't really grab them... he sort of... gently kneaded them... it felt... it felt sort of... nice... much better than 'nice'... with his thumb just brushing my nipple.... calluses on his thumb... just a bit of roughness... like a cat's tongue... wonder what Heero's tongue would feel like....) 

Unconsciously, Duo's hand drifted to his now flat, masculine chest.  His eyelids slowly closed as his fingers slowly began to trace delicate circles around one of his nipples as he slowly ran his other hand through his damp, but blissfully untangled hair. 

(Even now... I can still feel his hands in my hair... stroking my head... brushing my cheekbones... so strong, but so gentle... feels so good... wish he'd do it again... so close... I could almost taste his breath... could have kissed him... he would have killed me... but I would have died happy... to feel him touching me... holding me....) 

-------------------------------------------- 

Dressed in a bathrobe that concealed his five very bushy fox tails, Zechs-youko gave Noin a faint smile -- making sure not to expose his overly sharp teeth -- and ushered her inside the hotel suite.  He nudged her into the living room and deftly relieved her of the kettle of hot water. 

"Ah, excellent, Lucrezia.  My thanks."  While Noins was sitting down, he hastily pulled the bathrobe sleeves over his hands.  Although his hands were human in form, the fingernails, like his teeth, were abnormally long and sharp. 

"Are you all right?  Your voice sounded very... well, squeaky when I talked to you a few minutes ago." 

"Oh that."  Zechs made a careless gesture.  "Just a temporarily scratchiness in the throat.  It's gone now.  If you don't mind waiting, I'll be with you in a few minutes." 

"Why?" Noin blurted, then flushed with embarrassment. 

"I have something I need to... brew," Zechs said hastily. 

She jumped up and said, "I can do that for you...." 

"No, no... I can take care of it.  No problem," he said as he disappeared into a bedroom, leaving Noin with no opportunity to protest. 

Gripped with a sudden curiosity, she silently walked over to the closed bedroom door.  The barely audible murmur of voices drew her closer until she had her ear against the door.   

(Sound like he's talking to someone... who could it be?  Someone on the phone?) 

To her surprise, a female voice answered Zechs' question... a familiar female voice. 

(That... that sounds like Lady Une... no, that's ridiculous, what on earth would he and Lady Une be doing alone in a bedroom.... 

Noin's eyes widened abruptly and she clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle a loud gasp. 

(NO!  It... it couldn't be... could it?   Une and Zechs couldn't be having an... an affair!  I wondered about him and Treize, but... but... with Une?  And under Treize's very nose?  Impossible!) 

As she leaned harder against the door in an effort to catch the low murmur of conversation coming from the other side, the imperfectly closed door latch sprang open under her weight, sending Noin tumbling headfirst into the room. 

Red-faced, she hastily sat up on the floor.  The first thing she saw was Lady Une, without her glasses and her hair hanging loosely around her bare shoulders.  The startled Une sat on the rumpled bed, wearing a slightly damp bedsheet and absolutely nothing else.  As for Zechs, who was sitting on the other side of the bed, it was equally obvious that he was wearing nothing under his half-open bathrobe. 

Even as Noin sat paralyzed with shock and disbelief, Zechs and Une exchanged an extremely guilty look. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Just as a semi-dozing Duo was trailing his fingers along the acutely sensitive skin on the inside of his thigh, all hell broke lose.... 

There was a female shriek, a loud crash, then a fusillade of thuds on the securely locked bathroom door, accompanied by a stream of obscenities. 

Normally, Duo would be instantly alerted by the commotion, but he was so deep into his erotic fantasy about Heero that it took him nearly a minute to realize what was happening.  But by the time, the bathroom door was shaking and threatening to pop loose from its frame. 

Duo sat bolt upright in the tub and grabbed for his gun just as the door gave up the ghost and splintered.  The Deathscythe pilot could only stare, his mouth agape as Dorothy Catalonia -- dressed in an outfit that a street hooker would have been embarrassed to wear -- finished kicking the door down and dashed into the bathroom.  The naked boy and the near-naked girl stared at each other for a long moment. 

"YOU!" Dorothy shouted, her tail lashing wildly, hair standing practically on end, and her long cat ears quivering with frustration and stress. 

....tail...?     
....cat ears....? 

Duo was vaguely aware that something was seriously wrong with that picture, but he couldn't figure out exactly what it was.  Namely, because all the blood in his body was rushing to his groin... well, the blood that wasn't already in that region of his body, considering his steamy daydream involving Heero.... 

Fortunately for Dorothy-neko, Duo was a Gundam pilot, trained to operate and think rationally under incredible physical duress.  Even as part of his barely functioning brain was wondering how the hell Dorothy managed to keep breasts the size of melons -- LARGE melons -- covered with a strip of fabric barely two inches wide, Duo dropped his gun, clapped his hands over his eyes, and dove underwater. 

(Oh shit oh shit oh shit....) 

As his head started to clear, he didn't know what scared him the most -- the fact that he nearly became a drooling, sex-crazed maniac over someone other than Heero, or the fact that he had come THAT close to glomping Dorothy Catalonia.... 

Still underwater, Duo shuddered and continued to hold his breath.  Death before dishonor!  He'd drown first.... 

-------------------------------------------- 

Hearing something stirring in the room behind her, Dorothy-neko had no choice.  In a lithe bound, she plunged headfirst into the already occupied bathtub. 

Water sloshed onto the floor as bodies bumped, limbs entangled, elbows jousted, and heads knocked.  The tub's computer noted the drop in the water level and dutifully opened the hot water faucet. 

Duo and Dorothy both opened their eyes and stared at each other underwater.  Pumped with adrenaline, the now-human girl unthinkingly grabbed Duo and heaved him out of the tub. 

The naked boy flew across the bathroom, landing in a heap inside the shower enclosure.  The impact somehow managed to jam the cold water control open, covering almost half the bathroom with a chilly spray that left the unhappy Duo shivering and female. 

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR!!!" he screamed at Dorothy as he scrambled to his feet and stomped over toward the tub. 

It was Dorothy's turn to pick her jaw off the floor.  She stared at him, then finally sputtered, "You're... you're a girl!" 

"Yeah, I'm a girl!  So what!?  Just a few seconds ago you were sporting a tail, big pointy ears, and breasts the size of humongeous cantaloupes!  Wanna make something of it!?" the decidedly pissed off Gundam pilot shouted. 

They stared at each other, then simultaneously groaned as the realization hit them both. 

"Jusenkyo...," Duo said morosely. 

"....Jusenkyo," she replied in an even more morose voice. 

"How the fuck did YOU end up there?" demanded Duo. 

"Guess," Dorothy grumbled, still sitting in the hot tub. 

Duo rolled his eyes and muttered, "Don't tell me... Relena." 

"Bingo."  Dorothy's eyes suddenly widened as she glanced behind Duo, who was standing with his back to the bathroom doorway.   

"LOOK OUT!!!" she shrieked. 

He barely started to turn when someone grabbed him from behind and started squeezing his breasts. 

"Duo-chan!  Sweet-ums!  Oh baby...."  The words were followed by an unbelievably annoying giggle. 

A flabbergasted Duo looked behind him to see a teenage boy with a familiar shade of blond hair, blue eyes... and clad only in frilly pink female panties!  For once, the chestnut-haired pilot could not think of a thing to say.  All he could do is mutely point at the person clinging to his female body like a starving leech. 

Dorothy peeked warily above the rim of the tub and nodded an affirmative. 

As one of Relena-kun's hands started to move downward to Duo's crotch, the Deathscythe pilot finally got his wits together and slammed his fist into the Relena's face.  There was a rather satisfying crunch. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Mr. Lonfu, the famed rose breeder, ran screaming out of his house along with all his servants.  Once the terrified group reached the local bar over a mile away, they told stories of strange shapes moving around the estate and horrifying bestial noises coming from the greenhouses where he grew his prize roses. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Heero marched down the hallway toward the girls' dorm, his blazing cobalt-blue eyes daring anyone to stop him. 

"Relena, omae o korosu...." 

-------------------------------------------- 

"What the FUCK was that!?" Duo gasped with an expression of loathing on his face as he stared at the unconscious Relena-kun. 

Dorothy muttered, "She fell into the Spring of the Drowned Pervert Boy, or something like that.  And if you think she's bad now, you should see how she behaves when I change into my cursed form!" 

Duo said with a smirk, "Oh, let me guess.  Spring of the Drowned Sex Kitten?" 

The Catalonia scowled and retorted, "Close enough, okay?" 

"What's with the clothes... or rather, the lack of them?" 

Dorothy shrugged helplessly.  "I don't know.  When I change, I always end up in the same sleazy, skimpy outfit." 

As Relena-kun started to stir, Duo said, "Hell, we better change her back before she wakes up." 

"Fine, you do that." 

But as Duo was about to grab Relena, she grabbed first, popping up from the floor in an amazing show of recuperative powers that would have put Heero to shame. 

"ACK--mmmmphhh!!!!"  Duo's shout of outrage was cut off as Relena-kun grabbed his shoulders and locked lips. 

Seeing her opportunity to escape, Dorothy stealthily crawled out of the bathtub and headed for the door.  However, with a true predator's keen senses, Relena noticed the movement.  In an instant, Relena-kun dumped a sputtering Duo on his butt, bounded across the bathroom, grabbed Dorothy and shoved her under the cold water spray from the broken shower. 

"BLEAH!!!  POOH!!!  ICK!!!  Oh, that's majorly sick, man!  Mouthwash!!!  Gimme mouthwash!  I've been kissed by Relena!!!" Duo choked out, grabbing at his throat and scrubbing at his lips. 

As soon as the cold water hit her, Dorothy transformed back into her cursed sex kitten form and was immediately glomped by an ecstatic Relena-kun. 

"GET OFF ME!!!" the Catalonia shrieked. 

"I could never give you up, pussy-baby!" retorted Relena-kun, who had ripped off the thin strap masquerading as Dorothy's bra and was now nuzzling his face between the irate cat-girl's large, but exquisitely shaped breasts.   

Dorothy retaliated by whacking Relena on the side of the head with a small stool, which knocked the hentai teenager within easy clutching distance of Duo.  Relena-kun happily took advantage of that fact. 

However, Duo was a bit more prepared this time around and managed to slam his elbow into Relena's stomach and sent her rolling back in Dorothy-neko's direction.   

Wielding the stool like a lion-tamer's chair and a towel as a whip, Dorothy did her best to fend off the maniacally grinning Relena-kun.  In furious tones, she growled, "You men!  Always thinking with your damn cocks, not your brains!  Testosterone-addled morons!" 

Duo staggered to his feet.  Fortunately, his female form seemed immune to whatever sexual aura that Dorothy's cursed form possessed.  He muttered, "Hey!  I resent that!  For one thing, I didn't grab you.  And second, it's not MY fault that damn sex kitten body of yours gets a rise out of every male who sees it!" 

The half-naked Dorothy shot Duo a nasty look and retorted, "OH!  Isn't it just like a guy to put all the blame on the girl!" 

"What's with your attitude about guys!?" 

She gave him a furious glare, before hastily returning her attention to the circling Relena-kun. 

"Wait until you get pawed a couple of times and ask me that again!" 

"Oh come off it!  Girls do plenty of groping, too, I'll have you know!  But I don't trash them like you do guys!" 

"Fuck you!" Dorothy hissed at Duo, her feline ears and tail twitching angrily. 

"You can fuck ME!" Relena crowed as he pounced on Dorothy-neko during a brief second of distraction. 

Dorothy managed to wiggle free and grab Relena's arms, while Duo took hold of the Peacecraft's legs. 

"Oooohhh!!!  What about a threesome, little darlings?  I'll be glad to do you both!  There's plenty of me to go around...!" 

"LIKE FUCKING HELL!!!" shouted Dorothy and Duo in concert as they hoisted Relena into the air and threw the wiggling pervert into the tub of hot water. 

But as Relena-kun descended toward the bathwater, she clutched at Duo-chan and Dorothy-neko, and dragged both of them down into the steaming water with her. 

More water sloshed to the floor and the bathtub just as dutifully replaced it. 

Finally, a head with long chestnut hair broke the surface.  Duo flung his arms over the rim of the tub and began coughing and gasping for air.  Two seconds later, Dorothy surfaced beside him and clung to the edge of the tub, equally exhausted. 

"Man wheeze this really cough bites, big-time...," moaned a bedraggled Duo. 

"Now do you see hack what I meant sputter about rooming together...?" Dorothy gasped out. 

"Ooohhhh yeah...." 

On the other side of Duo, another blond head finally surfaced.  As both Duo and Dorothy gave her dirty looks, Relena gingerly touched her fingers to her face. 

"My... my nose is bleeding!" the Peacecraft whimpered piteously. 

"Awww, poor baby," Duo muttered with no sympathy whatsoever. 

At that moment, a furious Heero stormed into the bathroom, only to find Duo, Dorothy, and Relena all panting and apparently stark naked in the hot tub. 

=====================================================================  
Author's Notes: 

Quotes from upcoming parts.... 

-- With a decidedly goofy grin on his face, Wufei muttered, "We did it on the ground.  We did it UNDER the ground.  We did it in the water.  We did it in the air.  We did in the rose bushes -- thank goodness dragon scales are thorn-proof.  In the herb garden... inside the refrigerator... in the bed... on the roof... in the fire place... you name it, we did it there." 

-- Treize muttered in a rather petulant voice, "Une, I think my feet are swelling.  And I have this strange craving for rose petals and pickled cabbage in chocolate sauce...." 

===================================================================== 

A quick guide to the curses: 

For anyone not familiar with Ranma 1/2, Jusenkyo is full of springs that curse people who fall in one of its springs.  A cursed person changes into different sex, person, animal, monster, or entity when hit with cold water.  The cursed individual reverts back to his/her normal form and/or personality when doused with hot water.  I'm borrowing the basic idea of Jusenkyo curses from Ranma 1/2, but I've changed a few things to suit my own crazy whims.  ^_^ 

Duo     - Spring of the Drowned Girl  
Trowa   - Spring of the Drowned Piglet    
Quatre  - Spring of the Drowned Desert Wildcat  
Wufei   - Spring of the Drowned Male Fire Mini-Dragon  
Treize  - Spring of the Drowned Female Ice Mini-Dragon  
Une     - Spring of the Drowned Panda  
Zechs   - Spring of the Drowned 5-Tailed Kitsune/Youko  
Dorothy - Spring of the Drowned Sex Kitten Neko-girl 

and last, but not least.... 

Relena  - Spring of the Nearly Drowned Indestructible Hentai Teenage Boy, also known as the Spring of the Nearly Drowned Ataru (of Urusei Yatsura fame) 

-------------------------------------------------  
Keeper of Duo's Dark Side ~~~ Duo no Seishi  
Co-Keeper of Duo's Scythe & Bat Wings (w/ Death)  
Co-Keeper of Little Grim Reaper Duo (w/ Kitsune)  
Saitoh no Koibito  
-------------------------------------------------  
madamhydra@aol.com              /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/:E  
http://www.geocities.com/madamhydra/  
------------------------------------------------- 

=====================================================================  
The Full Disclaimer  
All rights and privileges to Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing are trademarks and property of Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties. All rights and privileges to Ranma 1/2 belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Viz Communications, Inc., and associated parties.  The characters of these works are used WITHOUT permission for the purpose of entertainment only.  This work of fiction is not meant for sale or profit.   
Original portion of the fiction included here is considered to be the sole property and copyrighted to the author.  
=====================================================================  



	5. Part 4

Last revised: 08/20/00 

Well, after watching 12 straight episodes of Haunted Junction and listening continuously to "Just a Girl" and "Spiderweb" by No Doubt, I was *finally* in the right mood to work on this GW/Ranma semi-xover.   This part is short and silly, but I hope you enjoy it.  ^_^; 

---------------- 

Disclaimer: (Full Disclaimers at the end) Gundam Wing is copyright of its respective creators and all distributors of their work and used without permission. 

WARNINGS:  yaoi hints, sexual innuendo of various sorts, comedic OCC-ness 

Pairings: 1+2/2+1 (naturally!) 

Archive:  http://www.geocities.com/madamhydra/GW.html 

Notes:  General craziness ahead, so please fasten your seat belt and securely stow your sanity in the overhead compartments or under the seat in front of you.   ^_^   

======================================================================  
MUDDLED WATERS  
A Gundam Wing/Ranma 1/2 fusion fanfic by Madamhydra  
======================================================================  
Part 4  
====================================================================== 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
'Cause I'm just a girl  
I'd rather not be  
'Cause they won't let me drive  
Late at night 

I'm just a girl  
Guess I'm some kind of freak  
'Cause they all sit and stare  
With their eyes 

I'm just a girl  
Take a good looks at me  
Just your typical prototype  
Oh...I've had it up to here!  
Oh...am I making myself clear? 

-- "Just a Girl" by No Doubt  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

-------------------------------------------- 

[ girls' dorm, Rinkan campus ] 

Heero stood in the doorway to the bathroom, visibly fuming.  His blazing cobalt stare took in the sight of the sopping wet and apparently naked forms of Duo, Dorothy, and Relena as they sat and panted in the luxurious hot tub. 

"DU-O...," Heero said in a low, ominous growl. 

As soon as she caught sight of the Wing pilot, Relena bounced to her feet.  She then froze as she realized her state of near nudity, then unleashed a high, piercing shriek as she frantically covered her breasts with her hands and dropped back into the hot water. 

The Wing pilot winced visibly at Relena's scream and clenched his teeth so hard that Duo thought he heard Heero's tooth enamel cracking,  The long-haired teenager lunged to his feet -- causing Relena to utter another horrified squeak at his state of complete nakedness -- and hastily raised his hands in a placating gesture.   

"Now wait, Heero!  It's not what you think...!" 

Duo's voice trailed off into nervous chuckles as Heero pinned him with a ferocious stare. 

"And WHAT am I supposed to NOT think it is?" the Wing pilot continued in that same dangerous tone. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Relena wondered if it was possible to die from utter humiliation.  Here she was, virtually naked except for her pink lace panties -- trapped in the most scandalous situation imaginable with Duo Maxwell, of all people!  Still covering her breasts with one hand, she waved a clenched fist in the Deathscythe pilot's direction. 

"MAXWELL!  How DARE you flaunt your nude body in front of an innocent girl!?  Have you no sense of shame, you pervert!? " 

Dorothy turned her head and glared at Relena.  "You're the LAST person who should be accusing another of being a pervert!" 

Relena blushed even more and instinctively sought support from the Wing pilot. 

"Heero, surely you don't think that *I*...!" 

To her dismay, Relena discovered that Heero was completely ignoring her in favor of Duo, despite her state of undress. 

"Man, I can explain!!!" Duo yelped. 

"Then EXPLAIN," Heero retorted with a stony expression on his face. 

The Peacecraft uttered a loud sob.  Heero's gaze flicked toward her, then immediately returned his attention back to the plainly naked Duo. 

The embarassment of being so casually dismissed was simply too much for Relena.  Didn't he WANT to look at her gorgeous, nubile body?  With a wail of embarassment, she jumped to her feet and clumsily tried to scramble from the tub.   

Unfortunately, her foot slipped on the slick marble surface.  As she toppled back into the hot tub, arms flailing wildly, Relena's elbow smashed into and dealt a near-mortal blow to the tub's temperature controls.  Freezing cold water poured forth in an uncontrollable torrent into the tub just as the drain opened wide and sucked away the hot water at a prodigious rate. 

Both Dorothy and Duo only had time to cringe and utter a terrified, "AIIIII!!!" before Relena's falling body sent a small tidal wave of icy water over them. 

A baffled Heero stared in bemusement as the others disappeared under the seething surface of the bath water.  As he watched the occasional limbs burst out of the water, then resubmerge, the Wing pilot wondered if he should haul Duo and the others out.  After all, he really didn't want them drown.   He wanted to kill Relena and Duo personally. 

-------------------------------------------- 

Just as Heero was about to interfere, the three Jusenkyo victims resurfaced with a huge whoosh.  Two girls and one boy had disappeared under the roiling waters of the tub -- two girls and one boy emerged... sort of. 

If Heero had only Duo's transformation into a girl -- and a very attractive girl, at that -- to cope with, he probably could have managed.  But he was completely unprepared for the oddly familiar looking blond-haired teenaged BOY who erupted out of the water, then immediately lunged toward Duo with an absolutely idiotic leer on his face. 

And when he got a good look at the third occupant of the tub, the Wing pilot's jaw nearly hit the floor in shock as Dorothy thrashed her tail and uttered a singularly cat-like yowl of panicked fury. 

-------------------------------------------- 

"DOWN BOY!!!" Duo shouted furiously as he intercepted Relena-kun's lunge and shoved the lecherous teenager's head underwater so hard that Relena's chin hit the tub bottom with a distinct clunk.  Sadly, the dunking and impact did nothing to quell Relena's enthusiasm. 

Duo turned to Heero and was taken aback at the 'deer caught in car headlights' expression on the Wing pilot's face.  For a few seconds, he couldn't figure out what on earth could cause Heero to freeze like that, then he suddenly remembered about Dorothy's curse and its effect on guys.... 

"Oh shit...," Duo muttered as he observed the glazed look in Heero's eyes.  The other pilot looked like he was on the verge of a mental meltdown.  A faint trickle of blood began to seep from Heero's nose as first one pearl-like breast, then the other breast slid free of Dorothy-neko's haltertop -- if pearls could be the size of prize-winning cantaloupes, that is -- as she jiggled up and down, trying to shake the water out of her furry, pointed ears. 

The Deathscythe pilot acted instantly to rescue the obviously overwhelmed Heero.  He took a firm grip of Relena's hair and hauled the lecherous girl-turned-boy out of the water. 

"Hate to do this to ya, but CATCH!" 

Duo then tossed Relena right at the unsuspecting Dorothy. 

"Doro-chan!  Come to baby!" Relena-kun shouted gleefully as she wrapped her arms around the shocked Catalonia with the strength of an anaconda. 

"ARGHH!!!!" 

Duo-chan jumped out of the tub -- still stark naked, perky breasts a-bouncing -- and dashed across the bathroom to grab Heero by the collar of his school jacket and the waistband of his pants. 

"Duo, you bastard!" the Catalonia howled behind him. 

"Hang in there, Doro!  I'll be right back!" Duo shouted at her as he hauled the stunned Wing pilot out of the bathroom.  Once in the living room, the long-haired teenager yanked open the first door he saw -- a coat closet -- and hastily threw Heero through the opening.  As the Wing pilot's forehead connected with the back of the closet with a resounding thud, Duo slammed the door shut and locked it. 

"Maxwell, get your ass back in HERE!!!"  Dorothy's words were broken by loud pounding sounds. 

Duo leaned back against the closet door, took a deep breath, and charged back into the bathroom which was now looking like a battlefield. 

-------------------------------------------- 

As Heero slowly slid toward the floor and unconsciousness, he caught the following disjointed noises: 

BLAM BLAM BLAM 

"Move 'em hands or lose 'em, bud!" 

"Oooohhh, Duo-chan, you're so beautiful when you're angry...." 

"LET GO OF MY TAIL, YOU HENTAI JERK!!!" 

"No way, kitty!" 

"KY-AHHH!!!"  floor rattling THUD 

silence 

"Ooh, nice move, Dorothy." 

"I'm a black belt in three martial arts, thank you." 

"I just fight mean and dirty." 

"Whatever works." 

moan 

"Quick, tie the damn pervert up before he... she... whatever!... wakes up!" 

ripping of fabric shuffling 

"You've got one hell of an artistic way with rope, Dorothy." 

"You're not too bad yourself." 

groan "Woah, major league bondage!  Damn, you girls are kinky."  pause  I *LIKE* it!" 

"Shut up or we'll give you a first-hand demonstration of the 'D' in B&D."  sinister laughter whip-like crack 

"....ouchie...." 

-------------------------------------------- 

[ Mr. Lonfu's rose garden ] 

Amid the ruins of the unfortunate Mr. Lonfu's garden, Wufei was fully occupied with placing hot little love nips along the full length of his companion's spine... and what a prettily curvaceous spine it was!   

They writhed around each other, nibbling, clawing, licking, and fornicating like mad.  Fortunately, rose thorns were no match for draconian scales as they rolled wantonly amid a fortune in prize rose bushes.  The crushed and shredded petals filled the air with an intoxicating perfume which drove the two dragons to even greater enthusiasm. 

And with long, sinuous bodies with serpent-like flexibility, dragon sex could be EXTREMELY creative. 

-------------------------------------------- 

[ Treize's hotel suite ] 

Lucrezia Noin could only sit on the bedroom floor and stare at the damp, singularly guilty looking couple of Lady Une and Zechs, who sat on the bed clad in bathrobes and nothing else. 

Zechs jumped to his feet and blurted, "Noin!" 

Une coughed awkwardly and put on her glasses. 

"Ex... excuse me... I didn't mean to... that is to say...."  Noin turned to Zechs and said in accusing tones, "Une!?" 

He sighed and said, "It's not what it seems...." 

Noin scrambled to her feet and shouted, "How long has this been going on!?" 

"Nothing's going on!" 

"Do you think I'm an idiot!?" 

Une stood up and adjusted her wet robe with military precision and said, "I need to change." 

Zechs jabbed a finger in her direction and snapped, "Don't you dare run off and desert me, Une!  You're part of this fiasco, too.  In fact, it's really YOUR fault.  If it wasn't for you, Treize and I wouldn't be in this tangled mess!" 

Une's eyeglasses glinted ominously as she gritted her teeth and said, "Don't you dare put all the blame on me.  You were right there, in the middle of it all.  You have to bear SOME responsibility for what happened to Lord Treize." 

Noin's eyes widened in shock as she stared at Zechs.  "She... you and Treize... at the same time?" 

Une sniffed irritably and said, "It was simply an unfortunate accident." 

"Oh sure," Zechs retorted snidely. 

The black-haired officer glared at Une and shouted in outrage, "BOTH of them!?  At once!?  What sort of woman are you?" 

"What the hell are you talking about, Noin?  Regardless of what Zechs may think, I was NOT out to get both him and Treize.  It just happened." 

"It... it just... HAPPENED?" 

"Yes.  Exactly."   

"Then... then it was just... the one time?" 

Une said acerbically, "I think that ONCE is more than enough for all of us!  I have no desire to do it again." 

"That's... a relief, of sorts," Noin muttered as she stumbled out of the bedroom. 

Une gave Zechs an odd look before asking, "Why do I have the feeling that we were talking about two completely different things?  After all, who would want to fall into a cursed Jusenkyo spring more than once?" 

-------------------------------------------- 

In the living room of the hotel suite, Noin paced back and forth, thinking furiously. 

(Unbelievable to think of Une having sex with Zechs and Treize at the same time!  What a tramp!  And she always seemed so frigid....  But if it happened only once....) 

She glared around the elegantly furnished room.   

(But damn it, it's so unfair!  If Zechs was so eager to sleep with someone, why didn't he sleep with me?  It's not as if I haven't dropped enough hints about it!  But he's keeps telling me that he's too busy to think about personal relationships... then he sleeps with Une, of all people!  And Treize!) 

Noin finally snapped.  Grabbing the first thing she saw and using both hands, she hurtled it in the general direction of the bedroom door. 

The large glass vase of fresh cut flowers flew across the room and went high, striking the wall just above the bedroom door.  The shattered vase released a cascade of cold water and battered floral stems just as Zechs and Une both stepped through the doorway. 

Noin stared blankly at the six foot tall, glass-wearing, sign-toting panda and the platinum blond five-tailed fox standing in front of her, then promptly fainted. 

{Hell and damnation.  Not again,} Une-panda's sign said as she scowled in disgust. 

-------------------------------------------- 

[ Sally Po's medical clinic ] 

Sally Po protested, "But it's still raining outside!" 

Quatre said urgently, "I know that, but I'm also worried about Duo!  Heero doesn't sound like he's taking this Jusenkyo matter well.  I'm concerned that he might get carried away and...." 

The doctor raised an eyebrow and said, "And what?" 

The blond pilot flushed slightly, "Well, Heero is very good at handling unexpected thing during missions, but I've also noticed that he doesn't take more... personal surprises well.  Especially surprises involving Duo." 

Trowa murmured, "That's true." 

Sally frowned.  "Do you seriously think that he'll hurt Duo?" 

Quatre hastily said, "No no no.  It's not that... but I still would feel better if I could just check on Duo and see for myself how Heero's coping." 

She rubbed her chin thoughtfully.  "Well, considering the weather, you pretty much count on changing into your cursed forms.  Now I might have problems carting around a forty-some pound wildcat, but I could easily hide a small piglet in a large purse or satchel." 

Quatre turned and gave Trowa a hopeful look.  The Heavyarms pilot shrugged in resignation and reached for the water pitcher. 

-------------------------------------------- 

[ girls' dorm, Rinkan campus ] 

As he slowly awakened, Heero gradually became aware that he was resting on a comfortable sofa with a damp cloth on his aching forehead.    

"Hey man, you're finally awake!" Duo said cheerfully in his now familiar female voice.  "I was starting to get worried." 

"Just how hard did you throw him?" asked Dorothy. 

Duo replied sheepishly, "I didn't think it was that hard." 

"That was a dirty trick you pulled on me." 

"Geez, it was the only thing I could think on the spur of the moment.  I came right back and pried her off you, didn't I?" 

"So you did.  But still...." 

"Sheesh, you're one for holding grudges, aren't you?" 

Heero peeled off the damp cloth off his forehead and sat up with only a slight wince.  A quick glance toward the window indicated that it was already early evening.  He had been out for several hours.  A warm hand gently brushed the hair away from his forehead and the Wing pilot found himself holding his breath a bit as Duo-chan leaned close to take a close look at his forehead.  In that position, he had a perfect view down Duo's loosely buttoned shirt... and he couldn't help noticing that in his girl form, Duo filled out his pants very, very nicely.... 

"It doesn't look too bad.  I'm really sorry, Heero.  Are you okay?" 

"Hn." 

Duo sat back and said wryly, "Yup.  Pretty much back to normal." 

The Wing pilot noticed Dorothy Catalonia sitting in an nearby armchair.  Thankfully, she was back in her normal form, unlike Duo.  He scowled at her and demanded, "Jusenkyo?" 

Dorothy sipped her steaming cup of tea and nodded, a sour look on her face. 

"And Relena?" 

"Her, too." 

"How the hell did that happen?" 

Duo dropped onto the sofa next to Heero and said, "Somehow she followed me and the others to Jusenkyo.  I guess she thought that you were coming along with us." 

"So both she and Dorothy are cursed, too?" 

"Yeah.  Dorothy here turns into some sort of super sexy cat girl." 

The Catalonia rolled her eyes in annoyance as Heero muttered, "I noticed." 

"And Relena turned into a guy with an overactive libido." 

The Wing pilot glanced around and said, "And where is Relena?" 

Duo jerked his thumb at a closed door.  "After we managed to change her back to normal, she's locked herself in her room and now she won't come out." 

Suddenly the door of Relena's room was thrown open.  The Peacecraft stood in the doorway, fully dressed and looking all pale and tragic as she clutched a large lacey handkerchief to her bosom. 

"Oh Heeroooo...."  She ran forward and nonchalantly shoved Duo-chan off the sofa.  As the braided pilot landed on the floor with a grunt, Relena flung herself at Heero and clutched desperately at his shirt. 

As Duo got up and brushed off his pants, Relena sobbed, "You're the only one who can help me!  How can I possibly live like this!  You've got to find a cure and deliver me from this hellish curse!"   

An unsympathetic Dorothy muttered, "Oh please, spare me the histrionics." 

Oblivious to the Wing pilot's glare, the Peacecraft buried her head against his chest and began to soak his shirtfront with her copious tears.   

"You just HAVE TO do this for me, Heero!" 

Duo, Heero, and Dorothy all exchanged exasperated looks. 

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Quotes from upcoming parts.... 

-- Incredibly cutesy girl: "Oh look!  What an adorable pig!" locks collar onto T-chan  "Now you're all mine, Alphonse!" 

-- UMICWR ("unidentified male in cloak with rose"):  "Yes, I will save the beautiful braided Duo Maxwell from the clutches of that foul Heero Yuy!  For I am Satin Cape!"  swirl of rose petals 

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Author's Notes: 

For anyone not familiar with Ranma 1/2, Jusenkyo is full of springs that curse people who fall in one of its springs.  A cursed person changes into different sex, person, animal, monster, or entity when hit with cold water.  The cursed individual reverts back to his/her normal form and/or personality when doused with hot water.  I'm borrowing the basic idea of Jusenkyo curses from Ranma 1/2, but I've changed a few things to suit my own crazy whims.  ^_^ While the victims have a superficial knowledge of their curses, they may not be aware of the various subtleties of their individual curses. 

-------------------------------------------- 

A quick guide to the curses (and nicknames):  
Duo     - Spring of the Drowned Girl (Duo-chan)  
Trowa   - Spring of the Drowned Piglet (T-chan)  
Quatre  - Spring of the Drowned Desert Wildcat (Quatre-neko)  
Wufei   - Spring of the Drowned Male Fire Mini-Dragon (Wufei-draco)  
Treize  - Spring of the Drowned Female Ice Mini-Dragon (Treize-ryu)  
Une     - Spring of the Drowned Panda (Une-panda)  
Zechs   - Spring of the Drowned 5-Tailed Kitsune/Youko  
Dorothy - Spring of the Drowned Sex Kitten Neko-girl (Dorothy-neko) 

and last, but not least.... 

Relena  - Spring of the Nearly Drowned Indestructible Hentai Teenage Boy, also known as the Spring of the Nearly Drowned Ataru (of Urusei Yatsura fame) (Relena-kun) 

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Keeper of Duo's Dark Side ~~~ Duo no Seishi  
Co-Keeper of Duo's Scythe & Bat Wings (w/ Death)  
Co-Keeper of Little Grim Reaper Duo (w/ Kitsune)  
Saitoh no Koibito  
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madamhydra@aol.com              /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/:E  
http://www.geocities.com/madamhydra/  
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The Full Disclaimer  
All rights and privileges to Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing are trademarks and property of Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties. All rights and privileges to Ranma 1/2 belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Viz Communications, Inc., and associated parties.  The characters of these works are used WITHOUT permission for the purpose of entertainment only.  This work of fiction is not meant for sale or profit.   
Original portion of the fiction included here is considered to be the sole property and copyrighted to the author.  
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